View Full Version : Wittley Strikes At One Thirty...ish

December 24th, 2002, 12:34 AM
Upon a wall of GD, you see a message...

Hello, friends,

My name is Wittley, the interactive educational gameplayer. I'm sure you've seen my brother Yano here. The rascal that he is, he's probably caused trouble for you all this time. You don't have to worry about me - I turned from the path of evil years ago. Now I only have one interest - teaching people. I want people to learn from the fountain of experience I've gained from my many, long years. And I want to make learning fun. For the student... and for the teacher.

I hope you'll excuse some unorthodox practices in my educational methods. The knife-riddled Patroller attatched to the wall is a product of our little knife-throwing game. It teaches you to have perfecto reflexes, you know! Too bad he was a slow learner. Luckily, there are many more potential students here, waiting for my guidance.

There are a few other notes I'd like to make. First of all, I believe you meant "Wittley" when you addressed me at "Whittley". I believe that's why Slagar lead you to believe that I was not in the package. That's the other note I'd like to make. What was with the force field? It was very uncomfortable. Things like those make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

So, hope you're all having happy Holidays! Maybe I can teach some of you soon. My fire escape lessons are especially potent - as I actually light my students on fire. Give Yano my disregards!



December 24th, 2002, 06:44 AM
Dark backs up in horror as he looks at the note. :eek: No God, please don't let it be, this is terrible. Yano's sister? He questions himself. It can't be, I'm dreaming. I think I'lll just go and have some egg-nog.

December 24th, 2002, 08:53 AM
Sister?! I'm Yano's BROTHER, you twit! Judging by your grammar and lack of respect, I can see I'll have to educate you...

Hey, I've got an idea. I'll slice off part of your body every time you make a spelling error in my presence. Consider yourself lucky that you were never in my presence before, because by now you'd be a fine mist.

December 24th, 2002, 08:58 AM
*groan* Not you again! You're so annoying, Wittley... "teaching", huh... and they call you the nice one...

In any case, try the cat. It's delicious.

Cale Yin
December 24th, 2002, 09:06 AM
*turns into a puppy momentarily*

Wittley not teach puppies, eeee?

December 24th, 2002, 09:20 AM
I don't need any teaching! Really! Stay away! I've got a frying pan! :eek:

Gabool the Wild
December 24th, 2002, 09:27 AM
Ohhhhhh! I knew he would come! :eek:

Well at least I'm a well behaved and intelligent rat and don't need any education, or as those freaky little kids would chant in that song : We don't need no education

December 24th, 2002, 10:20 AM
*cowers in a corner with a bottle of eggnog*:eek:

December 24th, 2002, 10:37 AM
feh..i don't need a ???? education........don't do it noooooooooooooo! ::shreaks like a girl:: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: I'm just an innocent otter

December 24th, 2002, 01:53 PM
*shows Wittley her doctor's degrees in various subjects* See, you don't need to teach me. *slinks away*

December 24th, 2002, 03:12 PM
I've been getting an A average in all my subjects, Wittley! So BACK OFF!!!

December 24th, 2002, 03:54 PM
Yeah, but Wittley teaches Fire-Safety-Classes, by lighting you on fire!:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Gabool the Wild
December 24th, 2002, 04:08 PM
I have straight As as well. And I know fire safety

*Begins to run away*

And you didn't even need to light me on fire!

December 24th, 2002, 05:32 PM
Ah, don't worry. I'm educated.
I'm just gonna....walk away to my....room and put a lock of sorts on the door.
Oh, and I'm taking the eggnog up there with me. *grabs eggnog and runs*:eek:

December 24th, 2002, 05:45 PM
*grabs eggnog and runs*


*walks her unconcious with a stave and gets away with the eggnog*

December 24th, 2002, 06:45 PM
To all those who have listed good grades as a reason for not needing education... well, then you need education in manners. I notice you're quick to flaunt your GPAs...

I've got an idea. I'll teach you all about the parts of the body! But I'll need an example to dissect. Any volunteers?

*throws a scapel at Gabool, just barely missing*

And what's all this about eggnog? Not that there's anything wrong with eggnog, mind you... I especially like the old demon recipie. Which is basically pure nutmeg and sugar, lit on fire. It goes down surprisingly well... but mortals sometimes experience... heartburn? Hahaha... but I jest.

December 24th, 2002, 08:07 PM
*shakes Wittley's hand warmly*
I'm sorry sir for our rudeness. No, if you'll excuse me, I'll just head to my car to pick up a few things I forgot at the hardware store.

*hurries away quickly before Wittley can bite her hand off*

Gabool the Wild
December 24th, 2002, 09:15 PM
Ahhhhh! He's singled me out! Why on Earth would he do that? Because I demonstrated I know fire-safety without having to be lit on fire?

I'm terribly sorry about my comment about my grades. I only said it out of my fear of you in order to get out of any torture you may have in store for me.

Cale Yin
December 24th, 2002, 09:34 PM
My grades... um. My grades show that I am lazy. But I didn't say that. I am educated because I'm in high school and I plan to graduate unless I die first. :P Hey! Is that Santa?? *runs to bed* ;)

December 24th, 2002, 10:47 PM
Yeah, well I'm not sorry! Why should we fear Wittley? He's a TEACHER! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *Runs away*

Lyrian Aryns
December 25th, 2002, 02:14 AM
...well. I leave for less than a day, and find the place playing host to yet another demonic children's toy. How friendly.

Touch the cat and you're dead. And watch it with those matches!

December 25th, 2002, 07:20 AM
S-s-s-sorry Mr.Wittley sir. I really am, truly. *decides to stay* Ya know maybe we could talk this out Witt.

December 30th, 2002, 08:53 AM
*growls at Airemia*

It's time for me to teach you... SOME RESPECT!

*spews a fireball at Airemia, lighting her on fire*

Now, students, who can remember the three steps we take to extinguish ourselves?

December 30th, 2002, 10:16 AM
*Jumps into a random and conveniently located lake* Ow. *Smites Wittley with the Frying Pan of Doom, and then disappears with the use of the conveniently located One Ring*

December 30th, 2002, 03:31 PM
Hey, Beelze! That's my eggnog! I bought it myself. Get yer own! *snarls*
And I'm quite safe from Wittley here, what with my flame retardent suit, good grades, and my *special* sword (for demonic toys only. I've got another sword for everyday use).
*Hides with eggnogg and Wittley proof stuff*

December 30th, 2002, 04:16 PM

*grabs a otter javilin*


Gabool the Wild
December 30th, 2002, 06:10 PM
Well, you could have done that Airemia, or you could have stopped, dropped, and rolled. See Wittley, I don't need to learn fire safety, and I certainly don't need to learn about internal body parts.

December 30th, 2002, 08:05 PM
--grr... I missed so much stuff while I was gone!--

I knew that thing in the forcefeild would be somewhat related to yano!
I think I prefer going to school than being... uh? deathschooled...

heh, wouldnt it be funny to see kymikan on fire.. heh... *a tiger bites dandin's leg off*

Lyrian Aryns
December 30th, 2002, 09:52 PM
You've already seem him fried; what else do you want? *pats Rent-a-Tiger and sends him back to the zoo*

December 30th, 2002, 10:16 PM
heh, wouldnt it be funny to see kymikan on fire.. heh...
*rubs hands together* Yes, it would.

January 2nd, 2003, 06:50 PM
*stares at flamingtext.com* hmm, can it do images on fire?
Hey, mabey we should og back to the topic.

January 2nd, 2003, 07:53 PM
one two fwee for seventy sevun twentie one hun'ed! see see! i can count, i'm educated!

January 24th, 2003, 08:13 PM
Hmm... my brother never really followed up on his whole "reign of teaching/terror", did he? Oh well, I guess it'd be asking too much to have TWO great and powerful demons terrifying the LP from one family... :cool:

Maybe I should start up my old demon racket again...

January 24th, 2003, 08:49 PM
Maybe it's because I have a REAL job at the Fuzzydemon University? Hmph...

By the way, frying pans don't work on me - only money. Er, the value of education. Right.

Today's Wittley post is brought to you by the letter ? and the number &.

January 25th, 2003, 01:41 AM
Only Money? Ok, BRB. *goes away* *comes back witha bunch of hundreds in his hands* Here. I had to pull a few strings to get that, so now that I've given to to you, I have Immunity.

January 25th, 2003, 12:37 PM
*stares at wittley with innocent eyes and starts licking a small stick*

The Red Badger
January 25th, 2003, 12:50 PM
. . . Wittley doesn't have any ears.

January 25th, 2003, 12:55 PM
My, you're a clever one. :rolleyes

Anyways, I don't take bribes - I'm a professional. Besides, IF I took bribes, I'd only take them through my OVERSEAS ACCOUNT... *winkwink*

January 25th, 2003, 12:56 PM
. . . Wittley doesn't have any ears.
Yeah, I just noticed that.

January 25th, 2003, 01:09 PM
eeek no ears? how can he hear....ah that doesn't matter *drops stick and starts running*