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Dawarrior
October 16th, 2005, 04:36 PM
Comments for the beginning of my story. I like to so far! Keep up the good work.

Josiah the Warrior
October 16th, 2005, 07:25 PM
Interesting story, but it could be alot better with just a bit more care put into your work. For example, run on sentences were rampant in your story, just a few more commas and peroids would have made it alot more clear and understandable. Second, use proper grammar and capitalization only where needed, it was only more confusing where sentences began and ended when you seemingly randomly threw in capitalized words. Also, remember that Microsoft Word is your friend, use spellcheck. But all of those constructive criticisms are writing mechanical problems, the ideas and plotline are there, you just need to hammer out the grammatical aspect. Keep plugging away, you're off to a good start.

RockJaw_Grang
October 16th, 2005, 07:46 PM
Hey thanks For the comments.Yeah I know im not too good with grammar and commas and stuff like that but I didnt think I had any misss spelled words??

Agravaine
October 17th, 2005, 09:57 PM
Well, for one, "commandership" isn't a word.

Anyway, it was really hilarious, Rockjaw. You gave me the best laugh I've had all day.

Elmbranch is an intriguing character-- a rather grey, if not black, squirrel.

RockJaw_Grang
October 18th, 2005, 08:26 AM
While it commandership came up on Microsoft word when I was putting it in and miss spelled it.

thanks for the comments Pretty soon il have all that iv writting edited with propper grammer and I little diffrent :D

RockJaw_Grang
November 15th, 2005, 08:33 PM
Sorry For double Post.

Hey Does any one have any idea on how to finish my story I am at A mind black(Yeah Yeah I know what your gonna say) And I cant think of any way to finish it any idea?