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RockJaw_Grang
November 28th, 2005, 05:19 PM
I really like it put more up soon.

P.S Good idea not to post it all at once it would bore me quickly seeing how long it was.

Ember Nickel
November 28th, 2005, 06:28 PM
Don't be cynical enough to say it's your "only" fanfiction.

Bladeswift
December 3rd, 2005, 07:23 PM
Aside from a few spelling/grammar errors I couldn't find anything I didn't like about it. Now I'm interested in seeing how well you can orchestrate a battle.

Josiah the Warrior
December 4th, 2005, 03:31 PM
Now I'm interested in seeing how well you can orchestrate a battle.
Hopefully you won't be dissapointed, but it's actually a very difficult task, so I'm interested to see what you all think of the first one. Thanks for the comments, everybody!

RockJaw_Grang
December 6th, 2005, 03:26 PM
Wh..what? How could you let A badger warrior die? I ca..cant believe this its an out rage A stinking outrage...

but really I still cant believe that badger died but other than that cool story...

Ember Nickel
December 6th, 2005, 03:29 PM
Wh..what? How could you let A badger warrior die?So somebody else gets a chance to kill off the bad guy.

RockJaw_Grang
December 6th, 2005, 03:48 PM
Well that is true but still A badger dieing...

Josiah the Warrior
December 6th, 2005, 06:55 PM
Badgers always annoyed me because of their ridiculous strength, so I figured I'd not only point out their flaws when in a towering rage (lack of strategy, slowness etc...), but establish my villain as a bonafide killer. Or, as the kids say, "killah.";)

RockJaw_Grang
December 7th, 2005, 11:25 AM
I guess it is just going to make it better when some little wimpy has no experience fighting something or the other finds Martin's sword and kills him;) .

Ember Nickel
December 7th, 2005, 04:11 PM
Chronologically, where is this story set? The sword wasn't placed by the tapestry until sometime after Redwall. I'm presuming it wasn't between Redwall and Pearls of Lutra, as we know the Abbey history pretty well in that time frame. But after Pearls, St. Ninian's no longer exists.*ends anal critique*

I like it.

Josiah the Warrior
December 7th, 2005, 04:32 PM
I like it.
Thanks.:D

As for your question, at first I thought of designating a time period, but since its a fan fiction, I decided to forego trying to find it a place on the Redwall timeline. And, as you said, the main issue would be St. Ninians, but I was too lazy to look up the book it was destroyed in, and, these events, extreme as they are, would have to be referenced at least a few times throughout the series (which is, of course, impossible), logically placing it chronologically after the latest book, but because of dang St. Ninians, that's also impossible. So, to answer your question in a less roundabout way; I was too lazy to properly incorporate the story into the official Redwall timeline.

[Edit] Thanks again for the comments, everyone, I hope they keep coming in!

Bladeswift
December 7th, 2005, 06:29 PM
I suppose if you wanted to pull a Harry Turtledove you could say this is what would have happened had the church not been burned, though I don't see how the existence of a building correlates to a vermin attack.

Josiah the Warrior
December 7th, 2005, 07:38 PM
though I don't see how the existence of a building correlates to a vermin attack.
Sorry, I guess I didn't explain that very well. Ember asked when my story takes place on the Redwall timeline, surmising that because St. Ninians was still in existence, the story must be set before Pearls of Lutra, but because of the scale and sucess of the assault, I surmised that my story must take place long after BJ's latest book (which would chronologically be after Pearls) because a reference would have to be made to it in on of BJ's books, which is, of course, impossible, placing my fan fiction in an impossible timespan. I guess that's still kind of confusing, but does that answer your question?

Bladeswift
December 7th, 2005, 07:49 PM
Sorry, I guess I didn't explain that very well. Ember asked when my story takes place on the Redwall timeline, surmising that because St. Ninians was still in existence, the story must be set before Pearls of Lutra, but because of the scale and sucess of the assault, I surmised that my story must take place long after BJ's latest book (which would chronologically be after Pearls) because a reference would have to be made to it in on of BJ's books, which is, of course, impossible, placing my fan fiction in an impossible timespan. I guess that's still kind of confusing, but does that answer your question?
Apparently I am the one who did not explain well enough. Harry Turtledove writes alternate history. That is, he alters history as we know it. (Confederacy winning the American Civil War, etc). In your story, I was saying that this could be a possible story of what would happen later on had Ninian's not been burned. You could say that because the church was left standing, that the events after Pearls of Lutra were altered. But as I said before, I don't see how leaving a church standing would change history so much. It was a joke (albeit a bad one), more or less.

Josiah the Warrior
December 7th, 2005, 08:00 PM
Ahh, now I see. I'm sure the joke would have been funny, had I gotten it.:p

Bladeswift
December 7th, 2005, 08:11 PM
Ahh, now I see. I'm sure the joke would have been funny, had I gotten it.:p
I make the mistake (rhymes, heh) of assuming everyone has the same tastes in authors as I do.

As for your battle scenes, they were entertaining.

Josiah the Warrior
December 7th, 2005, 08:17 PM
I make the mistake (rhymes, heh) of assuming everyone has the same tastes in authors as I do.
We all do.:p

As for your battle scenes, they were entertaining.
Good to hear, I wasn't sure how well they'd turned out...

Bladeswift
December 9th, 2005, 01:14 PM
Silly question: are you aware of what the acronym FUBAR stands for?

Josiah the Warrior
December 9th, 2005, 01:29 PM
Ahh, no. Is it bad?

[Edit] Nevermind, Google is my friend, and he told me what it was. Another military term that's ah, a bit inappropriate for this forum.

Bladeswift
December 9th, 2005, 01:38 PM
Ahh, no. Is it bad?

[Edit] Nevermind, Google is my friend, and he told me what it was. Another military term that's ah, a bit inappropriate for this forum.
Not that I'm criticizing you, mind you. I just found it funny.

Josiah the Warrior
December 9th, 2005, 02:12 PM
I understand, I didn't think you were criticizing me. But it is pretty funny.

Ember Nickel
December 13th, 2005, 06:46 AM
At this rate the goodguys won't need to do anything; the vermin will kill themselves off!

Josiah the Warrior
December 13th, 2005, 07:24 PM
At this rate the goodguys won't need to do anything; the vermin will kill themselves off!
Or will they....dun dun dun!;)

Bladeswift
December 13th, 2005, 07:30 PM
Two wildcats? But...but...MY story has two wildcats! *whines*

Eventually you're going to stop posting these here because it'd be too long, right?

Josiah the Warrior
December 13th, 2005, 07:44 PM
Two wildcats? But...but...MY story has two wildcats! *whines*
And I can't wait to read about them.:D

Eventually you're going to stop posting these here because it'd be too long, right?
Uh, actually I never thought about that before. I don't think I'd run out of room, not by a longshot, but just to make it easy on the eyes I might start a second thread at some point....

Ember Nickel
December 14th, 2005, 03:28 PM
See if you notice the borrowed character in this next part (it's not very hard).Is it perchance Zigu?

Josiah the Warrior
December 14th, 2005, 04:07 PM
You betcha. (He was always one of my favorite characters, as the end may lead you to believe, but I won't give anything else away.)

RockJaw_Grang
December 14th, 2005, 04:35 PM
Ah you have old Zigu from Salamandastron eh? Oh wait no he is from outcast of Redwall...


Pretty good writing keep it up..

Tankerjack
January 2nd, 2006, 05:03 PM
Dude that's so long i was just printing it out and my printer ran out of paper lol i'm going to read it tonight to expect my personal book review on it tomorrow!

Josiah the Warrior
January 2nd, 2006, 09:08 PM
Heh, yeah it's long, and it'll be longer soon, but I think there are only a few more pages to go. I eagerly await comments and criticisms.

RockJaw_Grang
January 9th, 2006, 12:21 PM
I like it so far.

Keep up the writing..

Josiah the Warrior
January 9th, 2006, 03:05 PM
Glad you like it! It's also good to hear I've still got a reader. I'm posting some more now, and after that, there'll only be a couple more pages to go.

RockJaw_Grang
January 9th, 2006, 03:18 PM
Nice I always liked sharks :D.

RockJaw_Grang
January 11th, 2006, 11:56 AM
Sorry for double post.

But I'm still reading so you better post the last of it.

Ember Nickel
January 13th, 2006, 06:43 AM
Was the epilogue the first mention of feasts? No long, detailed (read: boring) pages and pages? No? :D

Good job. :)

RockJaw_Grang
January 13th, 2006, 07:58 AM
Lame! Lame! Lame! I mean come on killed by his own poison dagger jeez what kinda death is that? ;) Just kidding yah it wasn't dad actually quit good but I I was really surprised you didn't kill off another badger ;).

Josiah the Warrior
January 13th, 2006, 09:37 AM
Was the epilogue the first mention of feasts?
Yep, I just didn't know where to put one (or how well I'd write one).

No long, detailed (read: boring) pages and pages? No? :D
:lol:

Good job. :)
Thank you!:D


Just kidding yah it wasn't dad actually quit good
Thanks!:D

but I I was really surprised you didn't kill off another badger .
I was too, but I decided I'd give this fanfic a 'happy ending.' But others...;)


I'd like to extend a thanks to everyone who read and/or commented on my story; it's always nice to know your work is generating interest. I appreciate it!:D

RockJaw_Grang
January 14th, 2006, 08:50 AM
Um..How did A dad get in my post I wonder?

I'm not even sure what's supposed to be there..

Bladeswift
January 14th, 2006, 11:52 AM
Um..How did A dad get in my post I wonder?

I'm not even sure what's supposed to be there..
"Just kidding yah it wasn't dad actually quit good"
Could you have meant "bad" instead of "dad"? For that matter, you also probably meant "quite" instead of "quit."

RockJaw_Grang
January 15th, 2006, 10:37 AM
Yeah I must have meant bad or something like that..