Potty Humor

[Josiah the Warrior]

The entertainment value of HP expands beyond the ground-breakingly different setting and story; it also has some good old fashioned funny stuff! In this thread, post some of your favorite jokes from the books. Laugh away. :lol:

Without further ado, I'll kick off the thread with two of my all time favorites, both from Order of the Phoenix.
Umbridge: "I was just concerned that you might not have Harry's most recent Defense Against the Dark Arts marks in front of you. I'm quite sure I slipped in a note..."
"What, this thing?" said Professor McGonagall in a tone of revulsion, as she pulled a sheet of pink parchment from between the leaves of Harry's folder.
:lol: I can so imagine that.
And:
Sirius: (talking about Kreacher) I'll look for him later, I expect I'll find him upstairs crying his eyes out over my mother's old bloomers or something....Of course, he might have crawled into the airing cupboard and died....But I mustn't get my hopes up...."
:lol:

[MoRedwall]

"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me 'sir,' Professor."

Harry getting mad at Snape-Again.


"When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a look to see if it's solid, aren't we? We're not going to be asking, "Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?'"

Harry mad(again)and being funny in Defense Against the Dark Arts with Snape

Both are from Book 6:p

[Ember Nickel]

The entertainment value of HP expands beyond the ground-breakingly different setting and story...I would not classify it that way. But...funny parts...the movie version especially in book 1-Hermione's "We could be killed, or worse, expelled!".

[chupacabra]

What about all those cruel things done to poor Moaning Myrtle.

[Josiah the Warrior]

I would not classify it that way.
And a counter-example would be...?
What about all those cruel things done to poor Moaning Myrtle.
I'm confused, your word choice suggests that the Myrtle jokes are mean, but at the same time it suggests they are funny...

[Ember Nickel]

And a counter-example would be...?Orphan raised by aunt and uncle meets wise old mentor who teaches him about mysterious heritage.

[Josiah the Warrior]

Orphan raised by aunt and uncle meets wise old mentor who teaches him about mysterious heritage.
Oh.....*Applies ice to his burn*

:p

(Ok but the whole magic/Hogwarts stuff is crazy original)

[Josiah the Warrior]

Aye, double posting sucks, but I fogot Kreacher! Besides everything else he says or does, these are some of his super funny gems:
Sirius: "...I ran away from home when I was 16."
Kreacher: "....Master was an ungrateful swine who broke his mothers heart..."

And, of course;

"As you wish, master," said Kreacher, giving Harry a look that clearly wished him a painful death.

Kreacher is just hilarious. :cool:

[the_mogget]

"...Or any part of your body, really, we're not fussy where we stick this."
-The Twins, Book 5... I think. I would look up the exact quotage and which twin, but I haven't the books with me...

And, quite a few other things that Gred and Forge have said. Actually, that little bit right there. Yet, again, if I had the books...

[Bladeswift]

There's a certain document replacing the word "wand" with "wang" I really wish I could post. *Sigh*

"Harry, don't go picking a row with Malfoy, don't forget, he's a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you..."
"Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life?" said Harry sarcastically.