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Mad Maudie McBurl
March 13th, 2008, 09:03 PM
I hope you all injoy the story.
Thretom the wolf healer Part 1


Thretom Was on a Journey towards RedWall Abbey. Then he began to sing a ballad he had made up on his journeys:

The once was a wolf who went a traveling
Afar and a near he was journeying to RedWall
Abbey to become a healer.
From north, to south, From east to west.
He traveled to RedWall Abbey. “I must get RedWall
Abbey.” he said again.

Once Thretom had finished his ballad he hopped upon an old log to cross a ditch. His staff helped him balance.
When he had walked a few more miles he began to feel hungry. “ Lets see should I have some elderberry wine or strawberry fizz.” He said as he began to pull out a flask of water. “Now for the food should I have otter hot root soup or some scones.” He asked him self as he pulled out stall bread. “oh ok I admit it it’s no fun to pretend that I have all this stuff .” He sighed as he began to munch on the bread.
“eh, You d’ra wat are ya doin’ on d’is land.” Said a mean voice from the bushes. “ sorry I didn’t know I was trespassing.” “I’m on my way to RedWall Abbey, If you tell me the way I’ll be on my way.” Thretom said in a friendly voice.
“RedWall Abbey ya say, hmmmmm, me an me friends ar’ goin t’a RedWall Abbey t’a. We ar’ goin on a friendly visit.” Said the Brown water rat as he and his friends stepped out of the bushes. “ My name is Ripear, this is Thrangpaw, Grip, and Thruster.
“ sa ya goin’ ta RedWall Abbey too, lets travel together, Matey.” Ripear said after he had Introduced his friends.
“What a great Idea, your one of the first I’ve actually heard was trying to find RedWall too.” Thretom was so busy telling about his travels that he didn’t notice the sly look pass between Ripear and his mates.

Mad Maudie McBurl
March 13th, 2008, 09:48 PM
Part two will come soon.

Gorath the Flame
March 14th, 2008, 03:40 PM
Very, interesting. I always thought wolves would never fit in my mind as peaceful creatures, but Thretom has proved me wrong. I like his whole naive attitude, which will surely change as when he learns not everyone can be trusted.

Now comes the hard part, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but your spelling and a few other things in your writing have much to be desired.

Keep up the good work anyway.

Fuzface
March 14th, 2008, 03:46 PM
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but your spelling and a few other things in your writing have much to be desired.

Keep up the good work anyway.

Thank you, Gory. That's exatly what I wanted to say, but if I had said it, it would have been terribly blunt and rude-sounding, because I don't like softening things.

M3, do you have Microsoft word? That corrects your spelling for you, so you don't have to worry about mistakes here. Also, the writing seems a bit rushed....it'd be great if you could slow down a bit, and add some discriptive bits.
Instead of just saying "He walked for a long time", tell us a bit about his journey. Describe the weather, the terrain, or possibly the fox himself.

You have an interesting idea, and if you work with it, it could be a decent fanfic.

Mad Maudie McBurl
March 14th, 2008, 03:46 PM
Thats alright lots of people tell me about my spelling errors. In part Two I'll ask my mom to help with spelling.

Mad Maudie McBurl
March 14th, 2008, 03:49 PM
Thank you, Gory. That's exatly what I wanted to say, but if I had said it, it would have been terribly blunt and rude-sounding, because I don't like softening things.

M3, do you have Microsoft word? That corrects your spelling for you, so you don't have to worry about mistakes here. Also, the writing seems a bit rushed....it'd be great if you could slow down a bit, and add some discriptive bits.
Instead of just saying "He walked for a long time", tell us a bit about his journey. Describe the weather, the terrain, or possibly the fox himself.

You have an interesting idea, and if you work with it, it could be a decent fanfic.

He is a wolf not a fox. I know it was rushed I'm going to ad more discriptive words in the next part any way. I'm still working on it. No I can't get Microsoft word to work on my computer.

Flinky_rules
March 14th, 2008, 04:04 PM
Isn't there a spellcheck button on the post menu? You have to download something to use it, though.

Fuzface
March 14th, 2008, 04:06 PM
He is a wolf not a fox. I know it was rushed I'm going to ad more discriptive words in the next part any way. I'm still working on it. No I can't get Microsoft word to work on my computer.

Sorry. Stupid me. I knew he was a wolf, but I was thinking "fox" for some reason. :rolleyes:

Abbot Peter
March 14th, 2008, 04:08 PM
this is very interesting!! very well...

i wonder what will happen next! :cool: :D

Mad Maudie McBurl
March 14th, 2008, 04:11 PM
this is very interesting!! very well...

i wonder what will happen next! :cool: :D

Allright guys I have one thing to tell and I'm happy that your posting here. but umm not to hurt your feeling but there is a place for this in the comments thead. Comments for Thretom the wolf healer.