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Safronia_Cedarwood
June 23rd, 2008, 04:22 PM
Some general rules:

1. Additions have to be at least three paragraphs long. This is to prevent total malnourishment of the plot.
2. Use Spellcheck! ;)
3. Please, please no OOC-ness (Out of Character-ness.) We are trying to make this as realistic as possible.
4. Other information will have to be typed in BOLD so as to not confuse the reader.

With that said, let's begin!

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A Stormy Night

This story was inspired by a Narnia fanfic of the same nature.

"The Dark Forest has too many kinds of weather for my liking," grumbled Martin the Warrior as he trudged upstairs with his faithful companions, Laterose and Felldoh. Oh, and a whole slew of canon characters who had wanted to join them. "You'd think that after an entire lifetime devoted to sadness and suffering, they'd give you a break!" He paused for a moment, helping the littlest ones up the last stair. "It wouldn't have been so bad if the friars were here, preparing some tasty snacks, but with them being at the Annual Food Convention of Mossflower there's no chance of it."

"There, there, Martin," Soothed Laterose, trying not to show her irritation at her husband's complaints. A warrior was never happy without fighting, she thought irrationally. "That's why we're having story time." She ushered the Redwallers into the Abbey Library. "This way, everybeast."

Since its invention in High Rhulain (or some other book), The Abbey Library was never without inhabitants. Pity it had to be all Recorders. Most beasts preferred to cook and/or eat food than to be the one writing down the recipe.

A candlelight soon came into view, followed by a pair of whiskers. And eyes. And ears.. It was Sister Snowdrop!

"How may I-" She started, but was interrupted by Felldoh, who briskly said, "We're looking for a book, ma'am."

"Well, you'll certainly find plenty of those in here," she chuckled. "Why don't you go through that pile over there and pick one you like?"

The group hurried to the aforementioned stack. Without hesitation Deyna took one out and asked, "What's wrong with this one? It looks like sparkles and pink had a war and we don't know who won."

"Looks interesting," Mused Sister Snowdrop. "I've never seen that particular book before. Hm.. Let's try it, shall we?"

Lightning followed by thunder created a typical movie sequence as Snowdrop sat the book down in her lap and began to read, prickling her nose at the overabundant glitter and overall shinyness.

"Fynding Luv in Mosflour"

by warrorgurl293

"it wuz a darke daye. Martun teh Warror had juste loste teh luv of hith lyfe latrose aftyr a huemongus fyte wiht his archenimy budring. he wanderred teh disolate landes, nut caering aboit ennythin.

Mattimeo snickered, while Martin's face took on a shade similar to a blushing tomato. Snowdrop glared for reasons of her own.

dat wuz, antil he mat Fyreflower Angeldust Blueshinyfurre. Seh waz a ridiunt beeing, teh smartust persun in da world.

Dandin turned purple with the effort of not correcting the author. Inside joke here.

Hur haire wuz as lyte ais the summeh mourn, her aiyes as deep as teh middnyte dawne. she was teh doghter of teh sun, and the moast byootiful person eva. az soon as murtin suw her, he fel in luv...

To be continued...

Pondlily Riverdrop
September 23rd, 2008, 07:38 PM
I know this thread is old, but I had too good of an idea...

... Or so he thought (author's note: new author: Wild Mike). And her name was not whatever that long and weird name was [everyone laughed at this]. It was Badranga, half-stoat and half-mouse, however that happened. She wanted Martin to fall in love with her because she needed to get to Noonvale.
For many days and nights, she flirting voraciously, finally convincing him to take her to Noonvale.[Rose starts ripping apart a tissue in a fit of rage] She looked like a mouse, although we all know she wasn't.
They travelled many days and nights, each place bringing Martin painful, funny, or dorky memories [more snickers], of which he blocked out with thoughts of Badranga.
When they finally got to Noonvale, Badranga started her evil plan. "Step right up folks, and take a look. No more spending countless hours washing dishes. Look at this handy dandy dishwasher!" she said, pointing to a strange box she assembled from her pack. " Just hook it up to your water pump with this green hose, hold the black hose away from the water source, and turn this handy handle to make it spin. Of course, you have to add some soap and dirty dishes, but that won't be hard at all." Her voice was silky smooth, perfect for this.
"But we don't have a water pump!" called a mouse.
" If you can have gutters, you have a water pump," she replied. After which, many valuable trinkets were traded for this wonderful machine. Then she fled and Martin stayed behind to see this machine work.
Later Arrayah (not certain how to spell it) and some of the other mouse maids tried the dishwasher. The green hose would not hook on to the pump. After it finally was, they forgot to turn on the pump and turn the handle. They did eventually get it to run, but it didn't clean the dishes. They just kicked it and threw it in some dusty corner. After it had been left alone, the dishwasher started to stand up.......

Fuzface
September 25th, 2008, 01:27 PM
"How the bloody hell do I get this thing open?" grumbled a voice from inside the dishwasher. The machine shook, wobbled, and fell over. More grumbled cursings came from inside.
Luckily for the creature stuck in the dishwasher, Martin the Warrior happened to be strolling by, singing a song about how Badranga was the new love of his life.

"Oh, the beautiful Stoase
Shall become my spouse..." Of course, it barely rhymed, not to mention Badranga thought of herself as a "Moat" rather than a "Stoase". But in any case, Martin continued his warbling, seemingly unaware of the struggling washing-machine.
"'Ello, ol' chap?" called the creature, "Could ye lend a paw?" Martin stopped singing.
"I'm not old!" he called, in an obvious attempt to start a Monty Python quote exchange.
"Whatever. Jus' be a good chap an' let me out of 'ere," said the trapped creature.
"Ah, poor, unfortuneate beast," sighed Martin, "You have gone through much suffering....you are locked in a strange box...ah, how do you live?"
"OH, shut up with the (here the creature said a very rude word) lecture," Martin, being the mature, tough warrior he is, ignored the swear and opened the door. He nearly fell over in surprise when he saw what climbed out.

It was..... *long superflous dramatic pause* CLUNY THE SCOURGE!!

"Thanks mate," the giant rat shook Martin's paw, "I thought I was stuck in that Time Machine forever. Nearly was crushed by a giant bell. Saaay," Cluny dropped the Warrior's paw, "Yeh look familiar. Like someone I seed in a dream, don't ya know?" As he was pausing to remember, the time-washing machine shook again, and out popped a new strange creature....

Pondlily Riverdrop
September 26th, 2008, 04:39 PM
Nice idea, Fuzface:D
... It was Tragg! I mean Clomun! I mean Tramun Clogg! And next came Poi- I mean Wild Ivy, Levi-I mean Veil, the Warden, and Gonff. "What are all you guys doing here?" said Martin. He felt like he knew them, and their names came instantly.
" I am the law!" screamed the Warden.
"Shut up ya idiot!" Veil screamed back.
"Either we're supposed to form a comedy troupe or a basketball team. I don't know which." said Gonff.
"Why not a comedy troupe that does funny basketball?" asked Wild Ivy, the epitome of perfection. "We used to do that in the circus." She was eyeing Martin, with a sly look on her face [at this Rose screamed,"It's bad enough she tried to steal Matthias, why does that stupid idiot who isn't even canon be here!!"]
"It's settled then, I'll go find Ballaw. He can give us lessons." said Martin. And they did.
Badranga was in here lab in the ruins of Marshank. She flipped the switch that would release an army of clones (of her, of course) from the dishwasher. All of a sudden hundreds copies of her appeared. "They've got the time machine! They could call up a an army of warriors! Oh, wait it's broken. I forgot. Well then, off to Noonvale my children." and Badranga's army marched off to Noonvale.
The Warden was flying up high for a silly basketball shot when he saw the mass of troops.....

Pondlily Riverdrop
October 11th, 2008, 03:52 PM
The people of Noonvale were retaliating after a boring council of war that I won't bother to include. First step: annoy the enemy.

Veil and the Warden were chosen for this. Veil acted whiny and stupid, while the Warden just kept screaming, "I am the law! I am the law!" until about twenty of the clones disappeared.

Then Wild Ivy was set infront of a three-way mirror, her perfectness destroyed another good chunk of clones.

Martin and Cluny were up next. What did they do? They sang a song.

"Warria Boy up in the oh!
Watch me shank it
watch me roll
and take care o' dat foe

I got you...(Shank that Warria Boy)..."][/INDENT
and they continued the song until all but Badranga had disappeared (no Noonvalers, though).
[INDENT]Just then, Matthias came running in! "Martin, Redwall is disentigrating!"

"What's Redwall?" asked a confused Martin.

"The abbey you founded after you left Marshank." explained Wild Ivy. "Apparently the time machine messed up the timeline. We'll have to go back, except for me. I can stay here with Martin."
WE WILL NOW SWITCH BACK TO THE DARK FOREST...

At this, Rose was fuming. She couldn't let this happen. And then the stroke of genuis hit. She grabbed the book, and shouted "Blue Scadooed, we can too!" and found herself in the book. She stuffed all of the people who weren't supposed to be there back into the time machine, and kicked the box. Then she kissed Martin and he forgot everything that happened in this story, and Rose went back to the Dark Forest. Badranga, left alone and foiled, died, ending the story. Rose kissed Martin again, and then everybody started to kiss, like there was a kissing game. Even Dandin and Mariel kissed, after running into each other while trying to escape the madness. Nobody was bored after that.