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You know you're obbsessed with Redwall when. . .
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Thread: You know you're obbsessed with Redwall when. . .

  1. #1
    Patroller: General Chelki Sureshot's Avatar
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    You know you're obbsessed with Redwall when. . .

    You have two dreams in life; either to be happy, healthy, and rich beyond beleif, or to be a bellmaker, and you don't care which it is.

    ~You're having a regular conversation with your friends, and you suddenly burst into tears and shout "Why? Why did Rose have to be mercilessly slaughtered! Why?!"

    ~You use phrases like lack a day, or toodle-pip, words like bally and jolly, and frequently end sentences with "wot wot?".

    ~You want to be an archaeologist solely to find the sword of Martin the Warrior and uncover the secrets of Redwall Abbey.

    ~When no one's around, you talk to yourself in mole speach, and you think that isn't strange at all.

    ~You buy two brown hares, a male and female, name them Tarquin and Hon Rosie, and try to teach Tarquin to sing while you hope the pair will someday have twelve leverets.

    ~You devote your life to creating an actual harolina.

    ~You have memorized the "About the Author" on Brian Jacques at the end of each of the Redwall, and your new goal is to be able to recite it backwards.

    ~You're Brian Jacques best fan/part time stalker. :

    ~You build a clubhouse in your backyard, name it "Redwall", and then hang a sign reading "No rats, ferrets, stoats, frogs, or foxes aloud!"

    ~You like to describe yourself as a "strong, badger lord-like person".

    ~You stayed up nights over the riddles in The Pearls of Lutra.

    ~You quiz your friends on meaningless Redwall trivia every chance you get.

    ~You do this to people you don't know.

    ~When you find yourself trying to pick apart some unusually tough meat, then pull out a large knife, scream "Eulaliaaaaaa!" and make as if to attack it.

    ~You actually know what a flan is!

    ~You make up a tune to the songs that frequently appear in the Redwall novels and then sing them throughout the day.

    ~You eat your Wheaties every morning so you can grow up to be strong like Matthias

    ~You're going to name your firstborn son Martin, just because.

    ~You start dancing with a crab along the beach one day!

    ~You see, Martin the Warrior, Gonff, and Dinny run across your floor one morning at dawn.

    ~You have the urge to poison your father, so you can be head of the household!

    ~You lock your siblings in the basement and don't give them anything to eat, and forget about them for a very, very, long time!

    ~You go to the pond and start looking for a fish called "Snakefish".

    ~One day you have the erge to go to a place called "Salamadastron."

    ~Your parents ask you what you want to be when you get older and you say, "I want to be like Boar the Fighter."

    ~You start naming your pets after characters, such as Log-a-Log, Ratflank, and Bella

    ~You imagine you met a person named Urthclaw.

    ~Your mom asks you why you keep a mop next to your bed, you say, "What? This isn't a mop! It's my javelin! I saw a fox outside today, and we have to be ready for an attack to the abbey!"

    ~Your mother doesn't comment, because she's used to that sort of thing.

    ~You move to Wisconsin so your state mascot can be the badger.

    ~You recently picked a bunch of dandelions from the yard and tried to make dandelion fizz.

    ~You pass a construction site where they're digging a basement, and you wave and shout, "Ho urr, gud luk to 'ee! Foine day fer diggin' yon holer, ho urr!"

    ~You paint your house red.

    ~You beg your parents to install a belltower instead of a satellite dish.

    ~You burst into tears whenever someone mentions mousetraps.

    ~Whenever someone mentions the Bubonic Plague, you mutter, "Darn rats. Lousy vermin. Typical."

    ~You see a hole in your shirt and are convinced a hedgehog borrowed it without your knowledge.

    ~You refer to your basement as "Cavern Hole."

    ~Your dream is to see Martin the Warrior kick the snot out of Mickey Mouse.

    ~Whenever you see someone with blue eyes you think of Ferahgo and Klitch.

    ~You routinely greet the birds in your yard, "Hi Mangiz. Hi Warbeak. Hi Styrk."

    ~You can spell "Salamandastron" off the top of your head.

    ~You stop saying "hands" and instead use the word "paws".

    ~You want to make wine in your basment.

    ~You want to have a Great Hall cake for your birthday.

    ~You're indignant that the Noonvale Players were excluded from the Tony Awards.

    ~You keep making sure the squirrels in the trees don't have arrows pointed at you.

    ~You refer to Grey Herons (or Great Blue Herons for us Americans) as Warden, and acknowledge their total legal authority.

    ~You spend the night in front of the door of the bookstore, waiting for that new Redwall arrival.

    ~You refer to all young creatures as "dibbuns".

    ~You insist all "dibbuns" need a bath in the local pond.

    ~You construct a website in worship of a certain corsair ferret.

    ~You know that ferret is reincarnated somewhere. Your whole life is spent looking for that incarnation of that lady corsair ferret.

    ~You climb up to the roof of every house that has a weathervane to see if there are any swords.

    ~You are talking to someone then break off and "Have you ever read Redwall..."

    ~You have a urge to stomp on weasels, ferrets, stoats, foxes, ect..

    ~You start reciting poems and riddles from the books of the top of your head to fellow Redwall fans.

    ~You see certain animals in the petstore (rats, mice, ferrets, etc.) and refer to them as "Cluny" and "Veil" and "Mattimeo" ond other such names.

    ~Your parents have to beg you to get off the couputer and out of the Redwall roleplaying stuff (namely, Redwall MUCK).

    ~When you attack your little brother, you shout "Sparra Killlleeeeet!"

    ~You lie awake in bed at night dreaming up Redwall stories with you as the main character.

    ~You just cant stop writing those fan-fics!

    ~You can speak fluent Sparra...even if no one else understands it.

    ~You pout when the bookstore isn't carying the Redwall book that you want, and stare at the ones you want on a computer screen because your parents don't like giving credit card numbers online.

    ~You're always identifying your faverite songs with something from the books and writing up crazy crosscasts.

    ~You wish that "Mossflower Talk" ((c) Snowfur) was a real TV show.

    ~You buy damson perserve instead of grape jelly.

    ~You actually know what a damson is! (for those who don't, it's a smallish, plum-type fruit)

    ~The neighbors call the cops because you climbed their tree and shot there dog with a "Squrriel Arrow" thinking the dog was Urgan Nagru.

    ~You catch mice, moles, squirrels, and other woodland animals and dress them up in habits and tie them to chairs and have a nameday feast for your 21st birthday.

    ~You accidentily feed your rabbit so much food it dies. Your excuse a SCOFFING CONTEST.

    ~You call all your friends messmates or shipmates.

    ~When you get excited you shout your street name 2nd AAAVVEEENNNUUUEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ~You put yoursel f in the hospital trying to recreate the sene where Samkim finds Martin's sword. :lol

    ~When you find a rat in your house you catch it, glue a miniature sword to it's paw and release it to later hunt it down and battle to the death.

    ~You catch a hare and a badger and make a special mountain enclousure for them only to watch the badger rip the hare t o peices. :sad:

    ~When you play dodge ball you yell Eulalia when t hrowing a ba ll at someone.

    ~You get a homepage and name it The Forge Room and expect non redwall readers to think your normal.

    ~You have read Marti n the Warrior 5 times and you s till feel sad
    when Rose dies.

    ~You want to tear someone apart when they think of Redwall as "rat" books.

    ~You have read your Redwall novels so many times you have to buy new ones.

    ~You use the bea ten covers of the old novels to cover a binder as a monument to all that is Redwall, for the Spirit of Martin said to.

    ~Your parents and friends, even some strangers, have heard so much about Redwall they refuse to listen to you speak.

    ~Anyone who meets you learns about Martin the Warrior and Laterose on the first meeting.

    ~Who cares what anybody says, Martin is still a hunk! You're going to marry him one day!

    ~Your obsession with Redwall has led to an annual parade in your neighborhood honoring the heroics of Gonff the Mousethief.

    ~You make bows, arrows, staves, Gullwhackers, etc. and actually shoot them at birds, and insist you need moving targets.

    ~You have parties to celebrate the "Abbot's" Jubilee, namedays, and other things, and make real Redwall food, like strawberry cordial and deeper 'n' ever pie.

    ~You mutter when a friend who's betrayed you is near, "Some day, Tsarmina, I vow that I will slay you!"

    ~You run around the neighborhood yelling, "EEUUUULLAAALLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! !!!!! 'S DEATH ON THE WIND!!!!! EEEUUUULLLLLAAALLLLIIIAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    ~You see the star of the football team at school and say "Now there's a sturdy young squirrel."

    ~You call red Gatorade "strawberry cordial".

    ~Despite fashion trends and designer T-shirts, you wear a habit to school. (OOC: My best friend actually made one and does where it to school. I'm in the process of making mine.)

    ~You insist that there's a strawberry tree in your backyard.
    You carve wooden canes and insist that you be called "Russa" or "Russano".

    ~You dress a mouse and rat in armor and give them toothpicks and tell them to "fight fight fight!"

    ~You scramble around whenever your cat walks in the room and blurt out "Hail queen Tsarmina, queen of a thousand eyes....":

    ~When you sit down to what appears to be a good meal, you smile and say "at last, pine marten!"


    Whew, that was a lot! There's two more pages, but I'll do those later. . .Anyway, I thought most of them were pretty good. A lot of them describe me.
    Last edited by Chelki Sureshot; February 5th, 2004 at 12:07 PM.

  2. #2
    Dibbun
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    I think you've covered everything!

  3. #3
    Patroller
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    Although, fortunately, most of those do not apply to me I am guilty of some of them:

    You use phrases like lack a day, or toodle-pip, words like bally and jolly, and frequently end sentences with "wot wot?".
    I'm British so it's not quite so odd. The same goes for Molespeech.

    You actually know what a flan is!
    I would have probably known this as we have had flan several times at home. I think, perhaps, it's a British thing.

    You lock your siblings in the basement and don't give them anything to eat, and forget about them for a very, very, long time!
    I think I better go check on my brother...

    Your dream is to see Martin the Warrior kick the snot out of Mickey Mouse.
    But doesn't everybody dream that?

    You have read Marti n the Warrior 5 times and you s till feel sad
    Don't tell me you don't too!

  4. #4
    Patroller: General LordTBT's Avatar
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    "You call red Gatorade "strawberry cordial". "

    <--cordial has alcohol, gatorade doesnt.

    "~You can spell "Salamandastron" off the top of your head. "

    <---yes

    "You like to describe yourself as a "strong, badger lord-like person"."

    <---yes

    "You move to Wisconsin so your state mascot can be the badger."

    <---does knowing someone from wisconsin count?

    "You want to make wine in your basment. "

    <--- does knowing someone who's family owns a winery count?

    "You just cant stop writing those fan-fics! "

    <---was like this for a while, before my computer crashed and i lost all of them. i even wrote an LoL before BJ's was even being talked about.
    Last edited by LordTBT; February 5th, 2004 at 05:26 PM.
    -Lord Trawnbull Thickstripe(TBT)

    The Redwall Wiki - Redwall information & news

  5. #5
    Patroller Senav's Avatar
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    Some of these apply to me in one way or another. Should I be scared?
    Yes.
    ~You use phrases like lack a day, or toodle-pip, words like bally and jolly, and frequently end sentences with "wot wot?".
    Yes, actually. Just to confuse the locals.

    ~You eat your Wheaties every morning so you can grow up to be strong like Matthias
    Quite frankly, I prefer Cheerios. Does this mean I want to grow up strong like Cluny?

    ~You start naming your pets after characters, such as Log-a-Log, Ratflank, and Bella
    But naming pets after characters is FUN. No, really.

    ~Whenever someone mentions the Bubonic Plague, you mutter, "Darn rats. Lousy vermin. Typical."
    It was carried by fleas on rats, and the species that happens to inhabit Redwall drove away the "plague carriers", so show a bit of respect!

    ~You keep making sure the squirrels in the trees don't have arrows pointed at you.
    It's so true. Ya can't trust the little buggers.
    Too true.

    ~You see certain animals in the petstore (rats, mice, ferrets, etc.) and refer to them as "Cluny" and "Veil" and "Mattimeo" ond other such names.
    I have done that, in the company of a younger kid who also likes Redwall. Matthias and Cornflower had a whole nestfull of babies *snort*

    ~You just cant stop writing those fan-fics!
    What? Are you laughing at me?!

    ~You can speak fluent Sparra...even if no one else understands it.
    Nobody knows what I'm saying anyway

    ~You want to tear someone apart when they think of Redwall as "rat" books.
    People've told me that. "Is that a rat book? Or is it a weasel thing?"

    ~You make bows, arrows, staves, Gullwhackers, etc. and actually shoot them at birds, and insist you need moving targets.
    I've had a passion for chasing small furry animals long before Redwall.

    ~Despite fashion trends and designer T-shirts, you wear a habit to school. (OOC: My best friend actually made one and does where it to school. I'm in the process of making mine.)
    Sounds like fun, but I'm enough of a fashion outcast as it is.

    ~You scramble around whenever your cat walks in the room and blurt out "Hail queen Tsarmina, queen of a thousand eyes...."
    That may be the cat's fantasy. I'm on to him...won't fool me...
    Pacific Ocean spotted off East Coast!

  6. #6
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    Well, one of my fish is named Emelet... and I have a nice wooden walking stick.
    Sorry if I spell anything wrong. Ever.

  7. #7

    Re: You know you're obbsessed with Redwall when. . .

    [QUOTE]Originally posted by Chelki Sureshot
    [B]

    ~You run around the neighborhood yelling, "EEUUUULLAAALLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! !!!!! 'S DEATH ON THE WIND!!!!! EEEUUUULLLLLAAALLLLIIIAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!"




    Very guilty of that one!!!

  8. #8
    Patroller t@gg :)'s Avatar
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    You wish that "Mossflower Talk" ((c) Snowfur) was a real TV show.

    Yes I do.

    You call red Gatorade "strawberry cordial

    No, but I call it strawberry fizz.
    <CENTER>

    Thanks Eagle!
    </CENTER>

  9. #9
    Patroller Aleisou Swiftpounce's Avatar
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    Some of them are true. I know what a flan is, but that doesn't mean I'm obsessed with Redwall. (even though I am. I've had Redwallian dreams many a time!) I've had flans in my school dinners!!!

    P.S: They weren't all that nice.
    I personally find that the world limit in a signature is far too short for my liking; I have so many wonderful ideas that I could put in here, yet there is not enough space! In the previous few days, I have tried to copy and paste several interesting essays into this miniscule space, but none have worked. I feel imprisoned by these ridiculous restrictions and would like a word with the administrator! There is absolutely no reason for this save for the conservation of bandwith, which admittedly

  10. #10
    Dibbun
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chelki Sureshot

    ~You build a clubhouse in your backyard, name it "Redwall", and then hang a sign reading "No rats, ferrets, stoats, frogs, or foxes aloud!"
    A true Redwall fan would never put up a sign like that. Our doors are open to everyone. (Unless they try to kill, maim or enslave us, then they die.)

  11. #11
    Patroller dandin1's Avatar
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    No way! That was like the frist redwall page I ever saw! "You know your obsessed with redwall when...". That was so funny.

    Heh, that reminds me of the site slagar had in his sig. "the Evil Overlord" list.

  12. #12
    Patroller: General Ferahgo the Assassin's Avatar
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    You start naming your pets after characters, such as Log-a-Log, Ratflank, and Bella
    I am guilty of this. I named my pet hedgehog Ambrose.
    "Luck, good or bad, is not the hand of God. Luck is the way the wind swirls and dust settles eons after God has passed by." - Winston Niles Rumsfoord, The Sirens of Titan

  13. #13
    Patroller Felldoh's Avatar
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    I'm not guilty of that... I never named a random squirrel in the yard Felldoh...

    >.>
    <.<

    You can't prove it!

    I'm guilty of a few of those... the most generic would be saying things like "bally".
    He's pouring his heart out to me and all I can think is, "I really want that burrito in the fridge. I'm glad I got sour cream today."

    -Ferahgo the Assassin

  14. #14
    Patroller Nora the Rover's Avatar
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    ~You quiz your friends on meaningless Redwall trivia every chance you get.


    ~You do this to people you don't know.
    Er, only occasionally...

    ~You stop saying "hands" and instead use the word "paws".
    By accident, usually. About a year or two ago I was constantly doing that...

    ~You pout when the bookstore isn't carying the Redwall book that you want, and stare at the ones you want on a computer screen because your parents don't like giving credit card numbers online.
    Just a little too true...
    If you must mount the gallows, give a jest to the crowd, a coin to the hangman, and make the drop with a smile on your lips.
    -Birgitte



  15. #15
    Patroller: General LordTBT's Avatar
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    you come to the LP forums.
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