My Poem

[Abbot Peter]

Here's my poem. It's a poem about love. I wrote it when I was thinking of this girl i really like.

I dont think I did my best on this poem. But the guys in my grade will probably laugh at me because I like poetry so I decided to share it with you LPF members.

So here goes:

You know you love someone
when they're all that you think about.

You want so badly to be with them.
Somehow you seem like nothing to them
no matter how hard you try

You show them all that your worth
and still no sign

You'll do anything for them
but you think
your just wasting your time

You hang your head low
as you walk by them
and you never know their actions
until your beside them

You pick up your head
and look 'em in the eye
and realize.........
they're doing the same
with their eyes

That was my poem...

How was it?

[Folgrimeo]

Very nice, especially the last part (it's really that last line that makes it great). A minor nitpick is that your should be you're, though I feel bad for bringing that up since you probably put your soul into this. Hmm, reminds me of how I approach love.

[Mad Maudie McBurl]

Oh wow, thats exacatally how I feel about this boy at church, I love them peom, I would like to see more of you work You should be a peot when your and adult.

[Abbot Peter]

Thank you both... I like poetry and will probably write some more.... Thanks for your compliments.


Folgrimeo, dont worry about telling me about "your" and "you're"... its fine and thanks for pointing it out.

[Fuzface]

Cute. Good poem. You obviously have some talent, and it will be interesting to read more. Keep up the good work, and learn to spell "you're".

[Mokkan]

Good poem. I really love the last part. I'm sure we've all had a girl/boy we like and he/she doesn't even notice us.

[Abbot Peter]

Cute. Good poem. You obviously have some talent, and it will be interesting to read more. Keep up the good work, and learn to spell "you're".

Thanks. People have said I've had talent... And ill try to spell "you're" right...

Originall Posted by Mokkan
Good poem. I really love the last part. I'm sure we've all had a girl/boy we like and he/she doesn't even notice us.

Thanks. It seems like that last part is the part that people really like... Its a good thing I put it it.

I agree about your last sentence. That's happened to me a few times. (Including now) And I'm pretty sure it happened at least once to others, too.

[Petunia]

And ill try to spell "you're" right...

That's good, but after that you could work on I'll.

Poetry is a good thing to practice. Keep it up!

[Abbot Peter]

*Waves Fist* Grrrrr, Petunia! Grrrrrrr!
(^Just Kidding^)
I'll (HA! spelt it right that time!) improve my spelling.

I wrote other poems but I can't find them. Ill probably find them, though. 'Cause one of my friends told me I should keep them in this book. I misplaced the book but I'll (HA!) soon find it.

[Gorath the Flame]

Excellent job Abbot Peter, keep up the good work.