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Thread: My Other Poem!

  1. #1
    Patroller Abbot Peter's Avatar
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    Wink My Other Poem!

    Ok, remember when I said I'd look for other poems? Well... I couldn't find my other ones so I wrote another one...I think I did better than my last one. This is an account that really happened to me... It's another poem about love. Enjoy!

    Love is great
    but it could hurt you deep.
    Before you make your move
    get ready so you dont weep.

    You make your decision
    and hope it is right.
    but when you make your move
    you think it wasn't so bright.

    You're hurt really bad
    but you act like you don't care.
    You run to your room
    and think its unfair.

    You talk to that person
    and act unhurt.
    But all they think of you
    is that you're only a flirt.

    At this you are hurt
    but you find the real one
    and they think
    that you're nothing like a flirt.

    You really like them
    so you don't pout.
    You make your move and
    They say "Yes! Let's go out"

    You two are so happy
    that you have each other
    and you're so glad
    you did not pick another.



    So... how was it?
    Last edited by Abbot Peter; May 9th, 2008 at 05:41 PM.
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  2. #2
    Patroller Fuzface's Avatar
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    Hmmm.... I liked the other one better. The rhythm on this was sort of clumsy, and you ryhmed "Hurt" with "flirt" twice in a row.....

    But keep writing. You can only get better.
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  3. #3
    Patroller Abbot Peter's Avatar
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    Thanks for the advice... This was actually what happened in my life. I liked this girl and I asked her out and she said no.. I was upset but I asked out another girl that I really liked and she was like "Yes!" And I was really happy with her... (We broke up )


    And I realized I ryhmed 2 words twice right after I posted it ... (I don't know how I didn't realize that before. )

    Again, thanks...
    Click Here!

    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
    -Martin Luther King Jr.



    6006L3 534RC|-|

    (>'_')> <<<<< Its Kirby!

  4. #4
    Patroller Gorath the Flame's Avatar
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    Another excellent love poem Abbot Peter.
    Vermin Mishaps! may return, eventually...maybe.

  5. #5
    Patroller Mad Maudie McBurl's Avatar
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    I loved it. that part about where you put hurt and then she called you a flirt, I started laughing, , sorry it was just funny about how that was worded.

    *looks emmbarsssed*

    Any way I'm sorry you broke up with the other girl I hope you find a new one

    over all I love the poem you wrote.

    Can I see more
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