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Auctor, My Story of Redwall - Page 2
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  1. #16
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    Chapter Twelve
    The ship that had attacked the Flaming Ocean had anchored north of Salamandastron, and the crew was rowing on longboats to the beach. At the prow of the lead boat, stood a young hare named Brett; he was a spitting image of his father, and his father’s father, with an air of command about him. He had a sabre on his side and held a longbow like a staff. He looked back at the others in his boat; all young hares save for two otters in every boat. As his boat beached, Brett nearly lost his balance; saved only by pushing the longbow into the sand to steady himself. He quickly jumped onto the beach and knocked a stake into the sand to hold the boat when the tide went out. Once all of the boats were moored, the hares and otters started walking towards the mountain, grinning from ear to ear.
    The entrance hall of Salamandastron was deserted as the young hares and otters snuck in, it was lunch, and most of the hares left at the mountain were eating, leaving a small number on guard, just as Brett planned it.
    “What are you doing, sneaking along like you’ve been stealing from the cook, hmm?” A strong but quiet voice asked from what seemed to be the middle of the line of young creatures. The otters began looking worried, but Brett turned to a dark corner of the hall and said,
    “We didn’t want to be seen getting to lunch late, we found some of our friends, and lost track of time. Nothing you need to worry about Simon.”
    “Well, that is a good enough reason; I don’t see why you would need to sneak into the mess for something so silly.” Simon gave Brett a wink that said, “I know you did something, but I won’t tell”
    “Thank you Simon, we had better get to the mess then, can’t have it all eaten without us now can we?”
    “Quite right, get on then.” Said Simon, as he walked away.
    An audible sigh came from the others.

    * * *

    Leon walked slowly aroung the clearing towards the bushes that Uaine had pointed out to the hares, motioning for the hares behind him to ready their bows; he slipped into the trees, and was lost from sight. A few grunts were heard, and Leon came out dragging a dazed rat behind him.
    “Look at what I found, it’s one of the rats from the beach, he must have been stumbling through the marshes since we lead them off, it’s a wonder he’s still breathing.”
    “W-where am I?” The rat muttered, barely audible.
    “You’re in Mossflower, but you will be in the Dark Forest if you don’t tell us what your captain is planning.” Leon said.
    “That would be a welcome treat; I’m ‘alf dead already, no use threatening me, rabbit.”
    Leon’s face turned to a mask of cold fury, grabbing the ray by the neck, he said in a voice that barely masked his anger,
    “Well, we could always patch you up, and when we meet your captain hand you over, telling him just how you begged for your life, that you would tell us everything. I’m sure that Blaze would love to reward you-”
    “Alright stop, I’ll tell ye what ye want!” the rat interrupted, “’E’s ‘eading to Redfence, or Redhedge” the rat stuttered, “Redwall, that’s the one! E’s got this powder, it looks loike black sand, ‘e loits it on fire, and it makes a bang, and some light, and it blows ‘oles in things. I’ve told ye, now make it quick!”
    Leon helped the rat up, and brought him to the fire where lunch was being cooked, and gave him a bite, as the rat ate, leon spoke to him, “We are not going to kill you, we will not turn you over to your captain, we will patch you up, and let you go on your own, with some food, but you must stay a peaceable creature for the rest of your life, stop killing, and make a home somewhere.” Leon handed him a pack of food and said, “Now go.”


    "Knowledge is a thing that one cannot have enough of. It is the fruit of wisdom, to be eaten carefully and digested fully..." -BJ

    “I wish to thank all the breweries who manufactured all the ale which got me so sodden drunk, that I got the inspiration to write this book.” -BJ


    Me: "Wait for it...wait for it...MARSHANK REDEMPTION!"
    My friend: "Comments section on 'Escape from Marshank'."
    Me: You've gotta spoil everything, don't ya?"
    Him: "Yup."

  2. #17
    Patroller Schröder's Avatar
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    Chapter Thirteen

    The afternoon sun shone down through the stained-glass windows of Great Hall, coloring the dust floating in the air and bathing the floor in a blanket of warm, colored light. The doors slammed open with a bang and Constance rushed in, carrying the limp form of a mouse. She rushed past the Abbot and Cornflower, headed for the infirmary, taking the stairs three at a time. When she ran into the infirmary and placed the mouse on the bed, Sister May instantly started looking at the prostrate figure.

    "Oh no! No! No! No! No! No!" Cornflower cried from the doorway, seeing who it was. "Matthias" she sobbed as she rushed to the bedside just as Abbot Alf arrived.

    Sister May pulled Constance and the Abbot into the hallway.
    He has five broken ribs, his left arm is fractured, and he has hit his head horribly." Sister May told them. "It's a miracle he didn't die. What happened, Constance?"

    "He fell...from the walltop." Constance's reply was weak. "I...I think I need to sit down." The badger began walking to her room, Alf made to stop her, but Sister May stopped him.

    "I need you here, with cornflower. Constance may be a good friend, but Cornflower's husband is in there, and there is a good chance that he will not make it.

    When the Abbot and Sister May re-entered the infirmary, Cornflower was still sobbing at Matthias' side; she hardly noticed the pair enter the room.

    "Cornflower, he will be alright, we just need to keep an eye on him at all times. Could you take Abbot Alf to the cellar, I keep some rags in cold water there; just ask Ambrose to show you." Cornflower rose slowly from her kneeling position, wiping her eyes. Abbot Alf took her paw and they walked slowly out of the room, Sister May could hear the Abbot reassuring Cornflower that it would be alright. May turned to the unconscious form of Matthias. "Work is good for her; it will keep her mind on other things."

    * * *

    There was a mist, one unlike any witnessed by living creatures, there were trees so close together that it was impossible to see between them any more than trying to look through the abbey wall. Martin heard a snap in the trees. He spun around and saw another mouse, he was looking around bewildered. Tears welled in Martin's eyes.

    "Matthias, what are you doing here?"


    "Knowledge is a thing that one cannot have enough of. It is the fruit of wisdom, to be eaten carefully and digested fully..." -BJ

    “I wish to thank all the breweries who manufactured all the ale which got me so sodden drunk, that I got the inspiration to write this book.” -BJ


    Me: "Wait for it...wait for it...MARSHANK REDEMPTION!"
    My friend: "Comments section on 'Escape from Marshank'."
    Me: You've gotta spoil everything, don't ya?"
    Him: "Yup."

  3. #18
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    Chapter Fourteen
    The Flaming Ocean was taking on water. The ship's carpenter, an old weasel, knocked timidly on the door to the captain's cabin. The door snapped open, and Blaze motioned for him to enter.
    "Cap'n, I'm finding 'oles in the 'ull, below the waterline. They just keep showing up. I fix 'em and move on, but every time I go down, there is more water in the well. It's up to me waist already," the weasel reported to his captain, who had a mark of annoyance on his tired features . After a moment he asked,
    "What do you expect is the problem?"
    "All the 'oles are small an' uniform-like, as if they'd been drilled into the 'ull. Sir I'm afraid it's sabotage."
    "Ah well, that is a problem we can deal with. How often do you find the holes?"
    "Every morning', sir."

    The muffled bell signaling the mid watch tolled out its eerie song, reaching the ears of the hooded figure in the orlap, the lowest point inside the ship. Bilge water swished around the waist of the figure drilling a hole in the planking of the ship's hull. Suddenly two sets of paws grabbed the figure, one grabbed its mouth and the other its arms. the figure struggled to free itself from the grip, but to no avail. The figure was taken up to the captain, who was sitting in his cabin with his footpaws up on his desk. Blaze motioned to take the hood off, and there stood the navigator.
    "Of course it's you. You wanted us to stop, you wanted us to turn our rudder to this place and not take the abbey, you tried to stop us, but we got you." The fox gulped and Blaze got up close to his face,
    You tried to sink the ship, my ship, though it has been only you, I think that that qualifies as mutiny." The two that had brought him in sniggered; the fox's face was, however, unchanged.
    "Do you not fear death?" Blaze inquired. The fox's voice was barely a squeak,
    "I do."
    "HA!" Blaze laughed in his face, he turned to the others and said one word,
    "Hang!" The two crewbeasts pulled the fox from the cabin.

    The first rays of sunlight snuck past the horizon landing on the fox, swinging in the breeze.

    * * *

    Brett was getting an earful.

    "Sneaking off to fight pirates! Risking your life for a fool's errand! Is there nothing in that bloody head of yours? You insolent young buck, why I should break your sword and burn your bow for this!" His father, a taller version of himself, was fuming. "Have you anything to say for yourself?" Brett wanted to melt into the floor,

    "We won," he said in a nearly inaudible voice. But then mustering up some courage he repeated himself in a louder, more confident voice,
    "We won, and we didn't lose a single creature, we crippled their ship and there are significant losses to their crew, Sah!"

    "That does not excuse the fact that you left without any notice, made your friends join you on this senseless misadventure, and get the otters to sail you to those pirates!" Brett's father was nearly out of breath from his outrage.
    "Get out, and stay in your quarters until I say that you may leave them."

    Brett walked to the door, head bowed in shame. It was not easy to have the Brigadier General of the Long Patrol for a father.


    "Knowledge is a thing that one cannot have enough of. It is the fruit of wisdom, to be eaten carefully and digested fully..." -BJ

    “I wish to thank all the breweries who manufactured all the ale which got me so sodden drunk, that I got the inspiration to write this book.” -BJ


    Me: "Wait for it...wait for it...MARSHANK REDEMPTION!"
    My friend: "Comments section on 'Escape from Marshank'."
    Me: You've gotta spoil everything, don't ya?"
    Him: "Yup."

  4. #19
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    Chapter Fourteen (cont.)

    As he shuffled to his quarters, a voice came from behind Brett, “What did you do, lad?”

    Brett turned and looked at Simon, who had been standing in an alcove in the hall. “Went and attacked the pirates that Lord Orlando and Leon went to take care of.”

    “They’re still on their ship?” Simon asked, surprised.

    “Yeah, and it’s likely that they won’t be leaving yet thanks to us; they have a crippled mast and are likely taking on water, in addition to the score or so dead crew.”

    Simon pulled away from the wall and sauntered towards Brett, “A score, eh? Not bad for your first time as a C.O. How’d you pull it off?”

    Brett was a little surprised that the veteran hare wanted to hear what had happened, “Well, uh, I knew that they would be staying around the estuary of the River Moss, and I have some otter friends, whom you met earlier, and they go out sailing sometimes; their parents let them, they are old enough to go out on their own in their parents’ eyes. I asked if they would sail us to the Moss so we could engage a pirate vessel and weaken their numbers before they could go inland to attack there. They agreed so I got some of the older recruits together and gave each a bow and a sabre. Once we were ready, we marched north until we saw the ship anchored and her boats on the beach. We jumped in and were off.


    “The only thing that didn’t go as planned was that the pirates caused more damage to their own ship than we did,” Brett said shaking his head and chuckling. “Don’t think for a moment that I regret what I did, behind all of the tongue-lashing and threats, I could feel a sense of pride in my father’s tone; it was something I think he would have done if he were in my place.”


    After Brett finished, Simon’s face wore a worried expression he asked, “What do you mean they caused more damage to their ship than you did?”

    “Well after our first volley, there was a big bang and a flash of light, almost like thunder and lightning at the same time, followed by a crack as the mast split, I’m not sure what it was that made it happen, but after a minute or so, the top third of the mast came down.”


    “Go on then, I need to talk to your father.” Simon said, the color drained from his face. “We’ll talk again later.” he turned around, leaving Brett standing alone in the hall, confused at the sudden end to the conversation.
    Last edited by Schröder; December 21st, 2013 at 01:17 PM.


    "Knowledge is a thing that one cannot have enough of. It is the fruit of wisdom, to be eaten carefully and digested fully..." -BJ

    “I wish to thank all the breweries who manufactured all the ale which got me so sodden drunk, that I got the inspiration to write this book.” -BJ


    Me: "Wait for it...wait for it...MARSHANK REDEMPTION!"
    My friend: "Comments section on 'Escape from Marshank'."
    Me: You've gotta spoil everything, don't ya?"
    Him: "Yup."

  5. #20
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    Matthias turned to see a face that he knew well, Martin was standing a few paces away, his face was that of a scared father looking over his dying son.

    “Where am I, Martin?” he asked, fearing that he already knew the answer.

    Martin looked as if he were afraid to speak, but when he did; he said the two words that Matthias already knew, “Dark Forest.” Martin looked down sighing, “It is not your time, and so I ask you again; what are you doing here?”

    Matthias thought for a second, I’m dead? How did I die? Then he remembered,
    “I was walking along the walltop when there was a commotion on the lawns below me, it was a group of dibbuns that had tripped Sister Barbara while she was carrying a pail of water from the pond, she was soaking wet and was berating the little’uns for it.” Matthias paused for a moment to think again before continuing.
    “Mattimeo came up behind me and we were discussing the situation when there was a call from one of the sentries along the south wall. I started hurrying towards the call and I was passing Constance as she was picking up from the lunch that the sentries had that noon. Somehow I stepped on a trey just as she picked it up and I was lifted with it, still moving. I went over the parapet and then all I can remember was blackness, then just a moment ago I woke up here.”
    Martin looked up and what Matthias saw was the face of the warrior mouse, but with eyes like glass, Martin blinked and his eyes returned to normal.
    “You are not yet dead” Martin stated. “There are few who have been in your situation; alive but able to speak to those who have passed on to this place, I am one of those very few, I was tempted to leave before my time, and what a temptation it was after all I had been through, losing my parents early, enslavement for almost the entirety of my younger seasons, meeting and losing Rose, but there was also reason to stay, my new friends, the battle against Kotir, and the promise of a new and open home to the woodlanders.’
    “You have so much to continue for, but you may also choose to stay, but stay longer than you need to and you will be here for eternity.”
    “So I have to stay here until I am ready to leave, but cannot stay for longer than that if I wish to go back?”
    “Yes.”
    “Am I able to see my friends here?”
    “You may,” Martin said, turning, “follow me.”

    They walked for what felt like only a few paces into the woods and where they came to surprised Matthias as it had every occupant before him, it was an enormous clearing in the forest, in which sat a large building that looked to be Redwall Abbey, only far bigger, and, oddly, without any walls. Martin turned to Matthias,
    “What do you think?”
    Matthias was hard-pressed to come up with the words that could explain what was going on in his mind, finally only saying, “It’s Redwall.”
    Martin chuckled, “Oh, it is, is it? I didn’t notice myself, thank you.”
    Martin’s face lit up as he saw a group of creatures walking towards them.
    “Ah, look here is the welcoming committee.” He walked ahead of Matthias to meet up with them, “Now, he’s not dead yet, just visiting, he’ll want to see some old friends and family before he leaves.” By this time Matthias the group had made it to Matthias, “Matthias, let me introduce Germaine, first Abbess of Redwall, Columbine, wife of Gonff, and Sayna, my mother.”
    Matthias bowed, “An honor to meet you, I’m sure.” To which Abbess Germaine said, “Surely it is our honor to have you here, before your time though it is. Shall we go and see your friends that are here?”
    “That would be wonderful, thank you.”

    As they walked to the main building, Matthias pulled Martin back, walked slower and asked, “I didn’t think of it when I saw you back there, but Abbess Germaine was well into her late seasons when she passed, why is she so young?”
    Martin nodded, and replied, “We here are all in our prime seasons, but still retain all of the knowledge and experiences of our later season, you may not be able to recognize even some of your close friends here.”
    “Like Methuselah?”
    “Exactly, you knew him when he was very old, but here he is still in his younger seasons in appearance.”
    “I see, thank you, I will keep that in mind.”

    The face of the abbey towered above them, at least three times the size of the one on the world of the living, Matthias passed through the doors, and into Great Hall. In design and layout it was the same, but the tables were large enough to accommodate more creatures then Matthias could think of being in one place. He turned to look at the tapestry, but instead of seeing the pictures and designs he was used to, there were only lines, and upon closer inspection, he found that the lines were actually words, and all the words were names. Only the tiniest portion of the tapestry was covered, however, and as he looked around the huge hall, he could see that there was almost no end to the long, white cloth that hung around it, and looking up, he saw that there were more cloths like the one he was looking at, all the way to the celling, and they were all blank.
    Last edited by Schröder; December 24th, 2013 at 01:04 AM.


    "Knowledge is a thing that one cannot have enough of. It is the fruit of wisdom, to be eaten carefully and digested fully..." -BJ

    “I wish to thank all the breweries who manufactured all the ale which got me so sodden drunk, that I got the inspiration to write this book.” -BJ


    Me: "Wait for it...wait for it...MARSHANK REDEMPTION!"
    My friend: "Comments section on 'Escape from Marshank'."
    Me: You've gotta spoil everything, don't ya?"
    Him: "Yup."

  6. #21
    Patroller Schröder's Avatar
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    That last one was chapter fifteen

    Chapter Sixteen

    The Long Patrol had arrived in Mossflower. After a three day march over the flatlands, they had arrived at the ruined church of Saint Ninian. No creature had lived there in seasons, and it showed; the roof was sagged in and the timbers holding it up moved in the breeze, creating an eerie chorus of creaking and moaning. This is where the hares of the Long Patrol stopped for the night, much to the delight of Auctor. The inventor was not used to such movement, as he was never one to go on long walks, often locking himself in his chamber for days on end, and no argument for continuing the march was heard from him.
    “About how far to Redwall from here?” Auctor asked nobeast in particular.
    “’Bout ‘alf a dey’s march from ‘ere tae there, lad.” Uaine said as he strolled past.
    “You’ve been there before then?” Auctor asked, taking the opportunity to learn more about the highlander.
    “Aye, long ago,” he looked away to the north towards the abbey, “Ah was only a wee ‘un then, parents dead, mah sister sick, an’ myself bleedin’ aut. ‘Twas their Matthias who found us two in an old ‘ollow log an’ brought us tae the Abbey.”
    “How did you come to be this way, orphaned and bleeding?”
    Uaine sighed as he sat down by Auctor, “’Tis nae a story tha’ I like tellin’, I’ll tell ye that much now, but ah’ll, give et to ye nonetheless.” He straightened up and cleared his throat, “Ye’ve heard the tale of Cluny the Scourge?” Auctor nodded. “Good. It was whilst ‘is army was still about in these woods, based in this ‘ere church, when mah family came down from the north, we didn’t know the lie of the land yet, and weren’t on the path ‘ere. We ran intae sum of ‘is rats; me father put op a good fight, but there were too many of ‘em and ‘e was laid low They took me mum, me and mah sister back tae this church.
    “When we got ‘ere, me mum was taken away separately from us, and we ne’re saw ‘er agin. Mah sis an’ meself were thrown into tha’ ditch o’re there, and put under guard We landed on top o’ a dead vixen and so disturbed by it, we were that we ne’re spoke in there. Four days we laid there and one of those days a family o’ dormice was thrown in with us.
    “Some time later, I can’t remember how long, one o’ the dormice was taken aut, and I decided tae make a run for it tha’ night, once the darkness came. I knew enough about the moon tae know that there would be no moon that night, and so I told mah sister.
    “Night came with no moon; we crawled along the bottom of the ditch and once we thought we were far enough away, came out on the side that the road was on. But there was a single rat standing just where we looked out of the ditch. We were about to go back down when mah sister coughed. The rat saw us but I was ready, they had not thought that one so small as I could wield a weapon so they hadn’t searched me for one. I still had me knife, I rushed the rat, but after four days of staying still I was slower than usual, the rat got in a good jab, right in me side, but I ignored it and went at that rat until ‘e fell.
    “We ran intae the woods, not caring where we went, when we came across where me father was still lying. The rats didn’t take ‘is sword, or dirk. So I took was was mine by rights, and since we didn’t have any digging tools, we piled loam and leaves over ‘im, aut of respect ye know. We went on, until I fell, unable to run any more. We found a hollow log, and hid there for a few days. Mah sister was getting’ worse off, the cough at the ditch was the first of many to come in the next few weeks.
    “It was two days later when we heard somebeast walkin’ near us, me wound ‘ad scabbed over and so I took me father’s sword and sent out of the log, and I saw a mouse, carrying a sword, mah head was blurry and that mouse looked to me, like a rat, so I charged it, but before I reached him, I fell; my wound had opened up and was hurtin’ like somethin’ I’d say if not in a churchyard.
    “The next thing I remember was waking up in a red-walled room, in a bed, mah sister was across the room; a female mouse came in, and looked at the wound and asked ‘ow ah felt. I asked about me sister. She ‘ad some sickness with water in ‘er lungs, and it was bad.”
    Auctor, by this time was so caught up in the tale that he barely tasted the food passing his lips, “Did she live?”
    “Aye, an’ as far as ah know, she still lives at the Abbey, even joined the order.”
    “What’s her name?”
    “Barbara, her name is Barbara.”


    I've had plenty of time to write thanks to Christmas break.


    "Knowledge is a thing that one cannot have enough of. It is the fruit of wisdom, to be eaten carefully and digested fully..." -BJ

    “I wish to thank all the breweries who manufactured all the ale which got me so sodden drunk, that I got the inspiration to write this book.” -BJ


    Me: "Wait for it...wait for it...MARSHANK REDEMPTION!"
    My friend: "Comments section on 'Escape from Marshank'."
    Me: You've gotta spoil everything, don't ya?"
    Him: "Yup."

  7. #22
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    Chapter Seventeen.

    “Come along, Matthias, they are all waiting in Cavern Hole for you,” Martin said, motioning to the stairs. They started walking again and as they crossed the hall, Matthias could hear the murmurings of a large gathering of creatures. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he was amazed yet again at what he saw; scores of creatures, mostly mice were sitting, chatting. All fell silent as Matthias entered.
    “What do I do, Martin?” Matthias asked out of the corner of his mouth.
    “Just be yourself and don’t overreact.” Martin said as a lone mouse came up to them.
    “Oh, Matthias, Matthias my son, when will you learn to take life a little slower, to walk with dignity and humility?” the mouse asked shaking his head, “You remember these words, no?”
    “Abbot Mortimer, it is good to see you after all these seasons. Of course I remember, though I must say, in my defense I was not ‘dashing about grinning from whisker to tail like a mad rabbit’ as I was then.”
    “Why do you make light of this, Matthias? Are you at all concerned with this?”
    Matthias shuffled awkwardly at the remark, “Well I was more concerned before, but since I learned that I will not stay here…” his voice trailed off when he saw a female mouse walking slowly towards him. She had tears in her eyes and a smile on her face, next to her was another mouse who held her paw comfortingly, probably her husband, they followed by a teen-seasoned female. The Abbot looked behind him and saw them. Smiling, he turned back to Matthias and mouthed the word, “later” as he walked away.
    Matthias turned back to the approaching mice and once they were close, he asked,
    “I think know you…but where do I know you from?” The older female let go of her husband’s paw and came even closer to Matthias before saying,
    “I am your mother; this is your father, and your sister, Veronica.” She said quietly.
    “You’re my…my family?”
    “Yes, your blood family.” She said as she embraced her son.
    It took a moment for the information to sink in, but when it did, he gratefully hugged his mother back. His father stepped up and gave him a hearty slap on the back, saying,
    “I’m proud of you, Matti.” Veronica went up to Matthias and looked him up and down before saying,
    “I thought you’d be taller.”
    Matthias chuckled at the comment and said,
    “So did I.” All the creatures in the room laughed at the remark.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The Long Patrol was up before the first streaks of dawn had managed to make it past the horizon. Auctor had been dreaming of Redwall, imagining a large house-like structure along the path, when he was shaken into wakefulness by Leon.
    “Come on, we’re moving out.”
    “Right, give me a moment.” Auctor replied, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He got up and leaned against a tree until he got his balance, yawning, he walked to the cooking fires where he got some of the previous night’s dinner. As he ate, Uaine walked up from behind him and slapped his shoulder,
    “Wheel, ah doo belive tha’ ye’ll be seein’ Redwoll tedey.”
    “Yes, I hope so.”
    Ye’ll haeve nae a worrie, save eatin’ too much. Come on, wee’re movin’ aut noo.”
    Auctor looked around and saw that the hares were finished packing up. He nodded at Uaine and started walking north with the company.

    Midday brought the Long Patrol to the gates of Redwall. A sentry had spotted the column moving and Mattimeo was called to the walltop to be the mediator should they be hostile, but seeing who it was, Mattimeo called for the gates to be opened. As the column passed through the gates and onto the grounds, Mattimeo, Constance, and Abbot Alf walked down the wallsteps to meet them.
    “Orlando, back so soon?”
    “Yes, though under less favorable circumstances, I’m afraid.”
    “Father!” Auma cried as she ran towards Orlando.
    “My little mountain flower.” Orlando said, his face softening into a huge grin as he embraced his daughter. He looked at Mattimeo, “Where is Matthias?”
    A hush fell over every abbeybeast within hearing. Mattimeo walked up to him saying,
    “He is hurt, Orlando. If you wish to see him, I can take you to him.”
    “No, I cannot, not yet at least. I need to speak to all of the abbey leaders, it is a matter of great importance, else I would not be here, let alone my hares.”
    “Yes, I see, why don’t you head to cavern hole, we will be there shortly, take who you wish with you, and we will feed the rest here on the lawns.” Mattimeo said.
    “Thank you.” He said, then turning to his army, “Leon, Auctor with me, the rest of you, be good guests.”
    As Orlando, Leon, and Auctor headed to the abbey building, the mouse could not help but stare in awe at the huge size of Redwall, never had he imagined such a place in all the world, Salamandastron was massive, but it was a mountain made by the seasons, this was built by the paws of creatures with a will. Upon entering Great Hall, he looked around at his surroundings, marvelous stained-glass windows depicting otters, mice, squirrels, and a badger along with woodland landscapes and a tapestry depicting what looked to be the history of the abbey, and in the bottom-right corner there stood a mouse, leaning casually upon a sword.
    He was shaken from his daydream when he slammed his shin into one of the tables in the hall. Letting out a slight yelp, he stumbled forward into the paws of a pretty squirrelmaid wearing a novice’s habit. She laughed and said, “You had better be careful where you step in here, those tables can jump out of nowhere.”
    “Thank you, I shall try to keep that in mind for the future, miss.” Auctor said as he straightened, “What is your name?”
    “Barbara, and yours?” She asked.
    “Auctor, the inventor.” He said, bowing awkwardly.
    “You don’t get out much do you?”
    “Is it that obvious?”
    “Just a smidge.” She said, turning to leave.
    “I guess I will have to work on that.” He looked around to see where his companions had gotten to but found himself lost. “Excuse me; could you point me in the right direction, I am looking for a place called Cavern Hole?”
    Barbara pointed to an archway across the hall, “Just down that flight of stairs there.”
    “Thank you, again.”

    Barbara exited the abbey building and was headed to the orchards when she heard somebeast behind her say, “Ay, psst! Barb!” She looked around to see who had called her, and seeing nobeast she turned around again to be face to face with Uaine.
    “’An hoo is mah little sis dooin’ this fine day?” Barbara hit Uaine in the shoulder.
    “I was fine until this great lump of a squirrel showed up and scared the daylights out of me.” She said. Uaine staggered at the hit, falling to the ground and crying out,
    “Ach, she’e kilt me! Ah’ve done nae a thing an’ mah one an’ only sister ‘as gone an’ kilt me!”
    “Oh no, the brave warrior has fallen whatever shall we do?” She asked sarcastically as she offered a paw to Uaine. He took the paw and pulled himself up saying,
    “Auch, ‘arsh words coomin’ frae mah aune family. Ha’en’t you any care for meh?”
    “Of course I do, but you can’t just sneak up on me and expect me to not do something like that.” Barbara said. “Oh, come on, let’s go to the orchard, we can talk there.”
    “Aye, we can. Ye know, et’s been tae lang, since ah’ve seen ye, Barb; ah should stop by e’ry now an’ agin.”
    “You should, I like your company; you remind me of Pa.”
    “An’ ye remind meh o’ Mum; a spittin’ image o’ ‘er ye are.”
    The sibling sat down under an apple tree and spoke of what had happened since they had last seen each other, Barbara’s acceptance into the Order, Uaine’s escapades through the northlands, and life in general.


    (A/N: Part one of two character limit. It's been a little while, but RL is getting in the way and there have been some thing that couldn't be ignored.)


    "Knowledge is a thing that one cannot have enough of. It is the fruit of wisdom, to be eaten carefully and digested fully..." -BJ

    “I wish to thank all the breweries who manufactured all the ale which got me so sodden drunk, that I got the inspiration to write this book.” -BJ


    Me: "Wait for it...wait for it...MARSHANK REDEMPTION!"
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  8. #23
    Patroller Schröder's Avatar
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    Chapter Seventeen pt. 2

    In Cavern Hole, however, the topic of conversation was far less cheerful.
    “He is coming to Redwall with this…this weapon of his?” Abbot Mordalfus asked Orlando.
    “Indeed he is, Father Abbot.”
    “How on earth did he ever get such a thing?” Alf asked. Orlando looked to Auctor and nudged him forward.
    “It is my doing, Father Abbot. I created it, not as a weapon, but as a way to mine more efficiently in areas where there is a large amount of unusable stone. I was taken from my home and kept on his ship for a season on starvation ration. Their hope was that I would just tell them the formula, but my will held. Unfortunately, my code did not and they were able to decipher my journal, giving them what they needed.”
    “And how did you come into Lord Orlando’s company?”
    “Once they had the formula, they had no use for me, so they threw me overboard, fortunately the chains I was in were old and broke on impact with the water and I was able to make my way to shore, I was half dead by the time Leon found me on the beach.”
    “Well our precautions were not unneeded, it seems,” Mattimeo said, “how long before you suspect they will be here?”
    “Six to eight days, we know for a fact that they didn’t leave until after we had, but we don’t know when exactly. All we know, is that he is coming.”
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Blaze Firethorn was finally on the march. It was an order he hoped that he wouldn’t have to make, but the River Moss was simply running too fast to travel on the ship to Mossflower. He had left a guard onboard to keep any unwanted paws off of her and took the rest of his crew with him to march for Redwall.
    They had only been marching for a day but they had made it fairly far inland, considering that the crew was used to being on shipboard and staggered a little bit on the solid ground. Some of the crew actually complained that they were getting “land sick”. This was remedied with a swift kick to the tail and some choice curses from the higher ranking creatures.
    It was the first night that was the hardest, each of the company being used to sleeping in hammocks, and not the hard earth. All save for one that it, Blaze had grown up on the land, marching, fighting and sleeping on the same earth he slept on now. It was this that was the final reason he ordered that they march overland.
    Grumbles of complaint from the crew stopped, however when they halted for the night, even though it was hard to sleep, any rest for their footpaws was welcome and eventually they all got to sleep.
    The second day was harder than the first, however, and there were more complaints from the crew as they passed through the marshlands, hordes of midges flew at them, causing uncomfortable stings. On top of that there were lizards and toads stalking them, waiting for one of the crew to fall behind or get stuck. None of this deterred Blaze as he marched at the front of the column, beating his way through the undergrowth, keeping an easterly direction.
    They kept at this for days; marching and stopping, resting and eating, until finally they found themselves at the road leading from north to south. In mere hours, they would arrive at Redwall, no talks of peace as the others had done, just full on war.


    "Knowledge is a thing that one cannot have enough of. It is the fruit of wisdom, to be eaten carefully and digested fully..." -BJ

    “I wish to thank all the breweries who manufactured all the ale which got me so sodden drunk, that I got the inspiration to write this book.” -BJ


    Me: "Wait for it...wait for it...MARSHANK REDEMPTION!"
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  9. #24
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    Chapter Eighteen
    Auctor woke at the sound of a huge wump followed by a sharp crash and the wailing of injured creatures. He shot up and ran to the window of the dormitory he had been given. Looking down onto the lawns he saw the gate on fire and creature running to and fro. He ran from the room and down the stairs to Great Hall and burst through the doors onto the lawns where Orlando spotted him and yelled,
    “Get to the pond and help bring water to the gates!” Auctor nodded and made to go to the pond when a second explosion ripped through the night. Three of the hares that had been trying to put out the fires on the gates were killed instantly and two were severely injured as shards of wood flew into their midst. Auctor watched in horror as the wounded rolled on the ground, moaning. He was snapped out of his shock when Mattimeo ran past him, yelling for him to get to the pond. He started toward the pond, but halted; he turned around and ran to the cart that had been brought from Salamandastron.
    Mattimeo ran to the walltop with Orlando and Leon, and looked down at the path below. A hail of arrows, half of which had charges flew up at them and forced their heads down, the smaller explosions of the arrows causing pieces of masonry to rain down on those gathered on the walltop.
    Another blast came from below them, shaking the whole wall and bringing more cries of pain from the wounded. Mattimeo peeked past the rampart and watched what was happening below,
    “There are no creatures on this side of the path, just a cluster of archers on the other side of the ditch. Wait, one of them just ran to the gate carrying something, and now he’s running back empty pawed.”
    BOOM! Yet another explosion rocked the wall and lit up the darkness. The attackers cheered as they ran forward toward the abbey. A hare ran up to them, out of breath and bleeding from three places,
    “Sirs, they’ve broken through the door, it’s off its hinges and in pieces! They’re coming through!”
    “Get to the lawns and defend the gate!” The three ordered in unison.
    Cornflower had been in the infirmary with Matthias, sleeping lightly, when the first explosion shattered the silence of the night. She had run to the window and saw the gates aflame and looking back at Matthias’ prostrate form before leaving, she ran out to help with the wounded with Sister May. Matthias twitched hid nose as his wife left.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Martin found Matthias with Abbot Mortimer, Methuselah, and his parents and sister. They had been talking since Martin had left them together what seemed like only an hour ago and were enjoying each other’s company. He smiled as he watched Veronica jab at Matthias’ ribs. He sat down at the table where they were seated and nodded to the creatures there. They nodded back and motioned to Matthias to listen to Martin.
    “Matthias, I need to tell you something very important, so I need all of your attention.” Matthias’s smile slackened and he cocked his head.
    “It is time for you to go back, Matthias, you have spent enough time among us, and I fear it has been too long. Though it has only felt like a few hours, it has been six days.”
    Matthias’ smile was gone and a look of worry came to his face.
    “Will I see all of this again?” Martin smiled and said,
    “Of course, your time will come, just not yet.” Matthias had more to ask,
    “How do I leave?”
    “A light comes, and covers everything, and when you wake up, you will be back.”
    “When does it happen?” Martin looked into Matthias’ eyes,
    “Now.”
    The light seemed to come from everything, it increased in intensity until it enveloped everything then it went black. Matthias heard Martin’s voice in his ear,
    “Open your eyes.”


    "Knowledge is a thing that one cannot have enough of. It is the fruit of wisdom, to be eaten carefully and digested fully..." -BJ

    “I wish to thank all the breweries who manufactured all the ale which got me so sodden drunk, that I got the inspiration to write this book.” -BJ


    Me: "Wait for it...wait for it...MARSHANK REDEMPTION!"
    My friend: "Comments section on 'Escape from Marshank'."
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  10. #25
    Patroller Schröder's Avatar
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    Chapter Eighteen part two

    Matthias’ eyes opened slowly and he let out a moan. He had a pain in his chest that he didn’t remember having before, and his head felt like somebeast had been tap-dancing on it. He tried to get up but the pain was too much and he was forced back down. He needed a mode of transportation. He slid into the chair that Cornflower had next to his bed, his legs were fine and he was able to slide across the room to the window. It was night and though he was groggy, he knew he heard the sound of battle below on the lawns.
    His eyes widened when the night was illuminated by a blinding flash and a tremendous boom. He made for the cupboard where he knew crutches were kept and took a pair. Unsteadily, he lifted himself to a standing position with his good arm and started hobbling away. He hadn’t gotten far when he came face to face with Constance. She had been standing outside the infirmary, afraid to go inside. She stared at Matthias and shook her head to make sure she was awake.
    “Matthias? How? You’re supposed to… What?”
    “I woke just a moment ago. I need to get to the bell tower, can you help me?”
    “Yes, but why? You just woke up, you should be resting.”
    “I’ve been resting for six days; I need to stretch my legs.”
    “How do you know how long it’s been?”
    “Martin told me. Now are you going to help me?”
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Mattimeo, Orlando, and Leon ran to the lawns and formed a line, archers at the back, slingers in the middle and those with swords, spears, and pikes were at the front. All were ready for what was about to come through the door, and when the first vermin came through the demolished gate, they were put down instantly by the Long Patrol archers. They kept coming and as the bodies piled up they realized they were at a disadvantage in the bottleneck of the gate.
    The attack halted and the vermin drew back to the other side of the ditch. The archers ran to the walltop and shot over at the army while the other defenders ran to the gate and started building a barricade with the pieces of wood lying around.
    Uaine sat in the darkness watching the vermin from further down the ditch; he got up and moved like smoke toward a pile of crates and took cover behind them. Out of curiosity, he looked in the closest to see what was inside and was confused at first as to what he saw, black sand. Then he remembered, the rat in the woods,
    “ E’s got this powder, it looks loike black sand, ‘e loits it on fire, and it makes a bang and some light, and it blows ‘oles in things.”
    “Wheel, et looks like ah’ve found yer stash. Might as weel use et tae our aine advantage.” He said to himself. As he opened all the crates he could before running to what he deemed a safe distance.
    He unshouldered his bow and set about gathering dry grass. He tied the grass to an arrow and poured a bit of an amber liquid on it from a flask. He then set flint to steel and soon had a small fire going. Nocking the arrow, he dipped it into the flames before stamping them out. He raised the bow and drew the sting. He released just as he heard a vermin yell,
    “Wot’s that over there? It looks like a fire.”

    Never in all his days, nor those of any of the creatures in the abbey or in the vermin camp, did he think that the night could be lit up like day, but the explosion did just that, if only for the shortest moment. Uaine was knocked from his footpaws and yelled out in pain as a splinter from the crates embedded itself in his right shoulder. The last thing he remembered before he blacked out was the ringing in his ears.
    Those at Redwall jumped when the explosion went off and sent a massive fireball into the sky. At first they were confused; then, one by one they began cheering. Soon, every creature in the abbey was celebrating.
    Then the arrows came again. Seven were killed and thirteen were wounded. The cheering stopped immediately and the defenders looked back to the plain to see that the army had not suffered badly from the explosion. They charged the now unprotected gate and entered Redwall en masse. Those on the ground were mostly brothers and sisters of the abbey and had no weapons and were rounded up by Blaze’s crew and held at swordpoint.
    The hares on the wall couldn’t shoot down for fear of hitting an innocent, Blaze knew this, and he called up to the defenders,
    “Drop your weapons down onto the grass, and put your paws on the battlement. One false move and I’ll start killing these creatures.” Orlando, Mattimeo, and Leon looked at each other then nodded to do as the rat had said.
    Blaze smiled as he leaned against the bell tower.


    "Knowledge is a thing that one cannot have enough of. It is the fruit of wisdom, to be eaten carefully and digested fully..." -BJ

    “I wish to thank all the breweries who manufactured all the ale which got me so sodden drunk, that I got the inspiration to write this book.” -BJ


    Me: "Wait for it...wait for it...MARSHANK REDEMPTION!"
    My friend: "Comments section on 'Escape from Marshank'."
    Me: You've gotta spoil everything, don't ya?"
    Him: "Yup."

  11. #26
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    Chapter Nineteen

    The first stone block missed Blaze by a whisker; it hit the ground with a “WHUMPH!” It caused Blaze to jump to the side and lose his balance. The second block was already over the edge of the windowsill and was falling down. It landed where the rat was standing a moment before.
    Barbara took advantage of the distraction, she had been in the kitchens cutting carrots when the attack began, and she still had her knife hidden away in the folds of her habit. She drew it and stabbed the weasel holding her in the gut. He fell with a cry to the ground, but not before Barbara had taken down three more of the crew, releasing Cornflower, Sister May, and Friar Jonathan.
    It was only after the friar was released that the crew saw what was happening and took action. Those not attending to hostages were trying to surround the four escapees, and soon they were up against the abbey building, but smaller stones were being thrown from the bell tower now, and pelting the vermin’s backs, wish distracted them still further.
    “Hold each other’s paws now and follow me.” Barbara said, speaking out of the corner of her mouth. They did so and just before a rat grabbed Cornflower, Barbara turned and jumped at the stained glass window behind them. They made it through with a crash and landed in a heap on the floor of Great Hall, colored shards of glass falling around them. Barbara looked at the window, which still showed the outline of a mouse in a habit, the small plaque read, “Germaine, first abbess of Redwall”.
    “Sorry abbess,” Barbara said as she helped the others up, “We need to get somewhere where we can defend ourselves.” A crash and the sound of metal being beaten on came from outside and as the four creatures looked; another window was smashed in, this time by the huge bulk of Constance.
    “Are you alright?” Constance asked
    “We’re a bit shaken, but fine nonetheless,” Cornflower replied.
    “Oh, that’s good, but I wasn’t talking to you,” the badger motioned to the other side of her, where Matthias lay on the floor.
    “I’ll be fine, Constance, I’m just-” He was cut off by Cornflower running up and hugging him. “Oof-gently, my ribs are sore.”
    “Matthias, you foolish, Dibbun-headed, reckless, stupid creature, what were you think-” This time it was Matthias who cut her off,
    “I’m sorry, I’ll just go back to the infirmary and sleep some more, no need to thank me for distracting the vermin so you could escape.”
    “Yes, yes thank you, now can we please get upstairs and try to get these vermin out?”

    “You don’t have to go up,” a voice came from across the hall. Everybeast turned to see Auctor standing there, “I have something that can get rid of them; I just need your help.”
    “You’ve got it,” Barbara said.

    The creatures stuck on the walltop were growing more and more worried by the minute. Each was on edge and more than a few wanted to rush the vermin and overwhelm them, but they were talked out of it by Mattimeo, who said that they would be pushed back without weapons, and if they stopped to get them from the lawn below, the hostages would be killed.
    “He’s right, we are stuck here, and there is nothing we can do about it,” Orlando said with a heavy heart.
    “The rotters have us in a right pinch,” Leon commented, “I never knew-wait a tick what’s that over there, it looks like a bonfire.” The others rusher to look at what Leon was talking about. Leon had proved correct; a large fire was burning on the opposite side of the abbey building and the creatures on the wall were not the only ones to notice it.
    The vermin on the lawn smelled it before they could see it, or later, feel it. They sent a few of their number to see what was happening, and they came running back from around the corner, screaming and trying to push each other down. Blaze stopped them and demanded to know what was happening.
    The creatures managed to sob out one word:
    “Dragon.”
    The fire was growing nearer to the crowd of vermin and their hostages, and soon a deep, stentorian voice came from the direction of the flames,
    “The one called Blaze, who thinks himself to be the master of fire. Where is he? Does he wish to see whose place he claims to have taken?”
    Blaze was terrified out of his wits, but he didn’t show it, he put on a brave face and called out,
    “I am Blaze Firethorn, show yourself to me!”
    Blaze wished he hadn’t said the last part as a huge flaming mass rounded the corner, it looked like a thing out of Hellgates, a towering figure entirely engulfed in fire, came forwards, and it said,
    “Why have you come here, Blaze Firethorn, you have no idea the power that fire truly possesses, and the attack on Redwall tonight has only further proved your ignorance. So you must die.”
    Two arrows flew from the flames and buried themselves in Blaze’s chest, he screamed in pain as the red-hot arrowheads burned the wounds shut. The fiery figure loomed closer and an arm swung out and threw him into the bell tower with a sickening crunch. The arrows were pushed through Blaze’s back and he fell limp to the ground.
    The crew was in a panic, running this way and that to escape the fire. Vermin fell as the red-hot shafts flew out of the fire, avoiding hitting any of the abbeybeasts, who were huddled on the ground.
    Soon the vermin were either dead, or running for their lives through Mossflower Woods or across the flatlands. The ‘dragon’ fell down and soon the flames went out, leaving only the charred skeleton on the lawn.
    The creatures on the walltop were stunned, and only one had any clue what had happened.
    “AUCTOR! AUCTOR! HUZZAH TO AUCTOR!” Leon was yelling at the top of his lungs until the little inventor came from around the skeleton and waved for those on the wall to come down.
    “I could not have done any of that alone, so I wish to thank these creatures for helping me,” Auctor said motioning to the others, “Sister Barbara, Friar Jonathan, Constance, Cornflower, and Matthias.”
    Confused buzzing came from the crowd when Auctor said Matthias’ name, and it only died down when Matthias stepped forward and revealed himself. Mattimeo ran forward and nearly tackled Matthias with the force of impact.
    “Father, when did you wake up?”
    “About an hour ago, Matti, Constance helped me downstairs, but that is not important. What is, is that Redwall has been saved by this mouse here, Auctor, and his fiery beast. What did you call it, friend?”
    “Draconem ex Machina, dragon in the machine. It was never living, it was all made of wood that I treated to be less than flammable. And canvas that I treated to burn longer.”
    “Magnificent trick, I’ll say!” Cried a hare from the crowd. Applause and cheering filled the night and everybeast was smiling, they began making their way inside when a scream came from Sister Barbara. There, crawling through the gate; was Uaine. He was covered in mud, blood, and sweat after dragging himself from the flatlands. His right arm appeared to be missing, and upon closer inspection, it was.
    Sister May rushed to Help Barbara get Uaine up and take him to the infirmary and soon, the stricken squirrel was lying in a bed being treated for burns, and deep splinters in addition to the loss of his arm.
    When Sister May was finished, Barbara went to his side, much how Cornflower had Matthias, and watched him sleep.
    “I did it this time, Barb.” Uaine said smiling weakly.
    “Yes, you did, now rest so you can do it again.”
    “I don’t want to, I want to stop.”
    “Then sleep so you can choose to stop.”
    “I like that idea,” Uaine said before drifting to sleep.
    Barbara got up and was about to leave the room when she realized something, her brother’s accent was gone.

    A/N: It's been a while, but I'm back, this should be the second to last chapter, then there is the next one, and the epilogue. If you are reading this, then thank you, it has taken a very long time, but I am finally near finished and I like these chapters better than my earlier ones.
    Last edited by Schröder; June 5th, 2014 at 08:33 PM.


    "Knowledge is a thing that one cannot have enough of. It is the fruit of wisdom, to be eaten carefully and digested fully..." -BJ

    “I wish to thank all the breweries who manufactured all the ale which got me so sodden drunk, that I got the inspiration to write this book.” -BJ


    Me: "Wait for it...wait for it...MARSHANK REDEMPTION!"
    My friend: "Comments section on 'Escape from Marshank'."
    Me: You've gotta spoil everything, don't ya?"
    Him: "Yup."

  12. #27
    Patroller Mulchior Lancer's Avatar
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    I've been meaning to read this story for awhile, and now I have. Keep up the good work Schröder. Hope to see you finish the tale. You're so close to the end, and no story should go unfinished!

    *Edit* Just wanted to add that you seemed to grow in confidence in your storytelling as the story went along. Also, props for using established characters in the Redwall canon. If I write a Redwall story, I'd go with original characters, as I don't have the pressure of staying true to their characters in the books. You seemed to have a good grasp on them, though.
    Last edited by Mulchior Lancer; October 8th, 2014 at 02:12 AM.
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  13. #28
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    Chapter Twenty

    Dawn broke over a different Redwall than it had left the previous evening. Smoke hung in the still air, mingling with the morning mist, and the charred remains of Auctor’s dragon were still smoldering on the grass.
    Almost everybeast was on the lawns, cleaning up the remnants of the night’s battle, collecting discarded weapons, fixing the gate, and piling the bodies of the vermin on a cart to be taken far away and burned.
    A dozen and one hares of the Long Patrol and eight abbeybeasts were killed or wounded in the night three of Uaine’s squirrels had died, and all the injured were carried from the lawns and ramparts to Great Hall, out of the smoke, where Sister May, the Abbot and any other creature who knew medicine were waiting to help.
    Barbara was in the overflowing infirmary, which housed the most severely injured, who were the victims of the blasts at the gates. She took great care to comfort every creature, and she constantly made sure Uaine, who was sleeping peacefully, was fine.
    Matthias lay again in his infirmary bed, the night’s excitement having been nearly too much for him to deal with in his condition, and Cornflower hadn’t left his side since he had been brought back by a much more lively Constance than the last time.
    Matthias waved Barbara over with his paw, and whispered as to not wake his wife,
    “Could you ask somebeast to find Auctor for me? I need to speak with him.” The squirrel nodded before she poked her head through the door and passed the message to a hare walking with a limp and using a harolina as a makeshift crutch. He smiled and went on his way, chatting with himself, and as he got further away, Matthias and Barbara heard three things,
    “Whohahahahahahah!”,“Woodsorrel!” and the sharp twang of the harolina’s strings.

    Auctor arrived, with Mattimeo just behind and they stood at the foot of Matthias’s bed for a moment before they were spoken to,
    “So, you are the inventor of this, this, thing?”
    “It saddens my heart to say that, it was indeed I who created it,” Auctor replied, bowing his head.
    “It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Matthias insisted, “if anything; it is a great feat that you have accomplished. You hoped its used to be a mining tool?” Matthias lifted a cutlass crafted from a shaved down scythe blade, “this was a farming instrument, and now it is tool of war.” Motioning to the sword of Martin, “Swords were created to defend all creatures from the teeth of the adder, and they have been changed to kill one another, rather than defend them.”
    “What you say may be true, but it still led to the death of a score of creatures last night,” the inventor said, bowing his head once again.

    Mattimeo turned the sword of Martin over to his father, but instead of taking it; he pushed it back into his son’s arms,
    “Maybe you should hold on to that, until I’m fit again.” Mattimeo nodded and half a smile crept onto his face as he nodded.
    “Oh, isn’t that a nice family moment there?” Sister May said, watching from the doorway, “Now get out you two, you’re taking up valuable room and there are creatures waiting, you know!”
    Mattimeo and Auctor bolted out of the infirmary, followed by a lighthearted, “And don’t you come back!”


    "Knowledge is a thing that one cannot have enough of. It is the fruit of wisdom, to be eaten carefully and digested fully..." -BJ

    “I wish to thank all the breweries who manufactured all the ale which got me so sodden drunk, that I got the inspiration to write this book.” -BJ


    Me: "Wait for it...wait for it...MARSHANK REDEMPTION!"
    My friend: "Comments section on 'Escape from Marshank'."
    Me: You've gotta spoil everything, don't ya?"
    Him: "Yup."

  14. #29
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    133
    Epilogue

    “Auctor stayed at Redwall, as well as Uaine and Leon, they became close friends, and after some seasons, unfortunately Leon has since gone on to Dark Forest. But we are still here thanks to the bravery of the Long Patrol, and the defenders of Redwall!”
    The assembly in Cavern Hole was silent after Auma finished until a molebabe raised his paw and asked,
    “Burr, did tha’ really beez wot h’aperned, miz Auma?” The badger looked about to answer when the grouchy voice of an older mouse cut her off,
    “Of course it’s not, young’un,” then muttering to himself, he added, "and I thought moles were sensible.”
    “Well, how’dit go, huh?” a squirrelbabe asked. The old mouse sighed, then said,
    “Auctor means ‘inventor, a bit convenient for a mouse who happens to have turned out to be one, he never existed, Firethorn was obviously a caricature of Cluny the Scourge. There were no dragons, or battles at the abbey, or crazy alliances between highland squirrels and the Long Patrol. None of it! Humph, rubbish. An amateur’s attempt to tell a decent story. ”
    “Oi loiks miz Auma’s story betters, oi do,” the molebabe said. A chorus of agreement came from the other Dibbuns, who rushed Auma in a massive group hug. The Dibbuns wouldn’t let her go until Cavern Hole was near empty, and only then did they allow themselves to be led up to their beds.
    Tim Churchmouse caught Auma as she made her way from putting the young ones to sleep,
    “I thought it was a good story, Auma, don’t listen to that old duffer.” He waited a moment before he spoke again, “Auctor doesn’t mean inventor, though, it means author.”
    Auma smiled and turned down the hall, holding herself just a little higher.



    ***
    Finally, I finished. The ending, well, it's meh, but on the whole, I am glad I did it. Thanks for being patient with me, and feel free to tell me what you think, I take criticism well (at least I think I do).


    "Knowledge is a thing that one cannot have enough of. It is the fruit of wisdom, to be eaten carefully and digested fully..." -BJ

    “I wish to thank all the breweries who manufactured all the ale which got me so sodden drunk, that I got the inspiration to write this book.” -BJ


    Me: "Wait for it...wait for it...MARSHANK REDEMPTION!"
    My friend: "Comments section on 'Escape from Marshank'."
    Me: You've gotta spoil everything, don't ya?"
    Him: "Yup."

  15. #30
    Patroller Mulchior Lancer's Avatar
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    Congrats on finishing your story! It's hard to sit down and get a full tale written, so good on you for sticking with it and penning it to completion. In the end, that's what helps you become a stronger writer. Now you can step back, see what you felt worked, what didn't, and go from there.

    I thought it was a fun tale using the Redwall/Mattimeo characters. I think the introduction to explosives adds an difficult challenge to the abbey, one that castles weren't prepared for in our history. I don't think Brian would've written a story with them, but that's why it's perfect fodder for fanfiction. It lets you play around with the world and do things the author would've have. And as I mentioned before, I could tell you grew more comfortable writing the story as you went along. I also enjoyed the scene where Matthias got to meet Martin face to face, and thought it was well done.

    For constructive criticism, I'd have to read it again to go deeper, but here were two that jumped out at me as I read it.

    The first one is a bit of a personal opinion, so feel free to ignore it if you wish. A few of the names for characters like, for example Barbara, don't necessarily have that "Redwall" kind of feel to them. Granted, Brian's names changed and evolved from Redwall to The Rogue Crew, and I thought a few of the ones in Redwall were a bit plain. I have no suggestions on how to fix them, as I hate hate hate coming up with names for characters in stories, but it takes practice. One thing I do is look for name generators or pages that list baby names for different parts of the world. I'll even narrow it down to old Celtic or English names and try to find names that aren't all that common anymore. Again, it's just a suggestion on my part, and honestly it doesn't take away from the story, but you might find those resources useful.

    The second suggestion is an easy fix. Sometimes we use words or phrases a ton and aren't conscious of it. You used variations of the commands "I need to speak to/I need to see/Bring me so and so" quite a bit. I know it's to push the story forward, but there are creative ways around them. You can have the character get up and do what he or she needs to do, rather than having them announce it first. Or you can skip to the scene where said character goes to the beast they need to meet or talk to. One thing that I learned in school that my professors stressed over and over is "show, don't tell" when at all possible.

    I hope that helps you in some way. If you enjoyed writing, keep at it! The more you do it, the better you'll become at it.
    Last edited by Mulchior Lancer; December 12th, 2014 at 12:21 AM.
    “Aha! Today I shall become an author! And I will auth and auth and auth and make a squillion dollars, whoopee!”
    -Brian Jacques

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